Does R. Kelly Study German Poetry? (Answer Below)

Yesterday, we sneaked one 100 percent true factoid into a pack of out-and-out, yet oddly believable, lies about R&B genius R. Kelly. Care to guess which one we didn’t make up? To recap:

(a) Misleading title aside, “Sex Me, Pts. 1 & 2,� from 1993’s 12 Play, is actually based on the obscure German poetry of Friedrich H?rlin.

(b) Kelly once left a sold-out concert to serve drive-thru customers at a local McDonald’s.

(c) He was a virgin until he was 24.

(d) During the sessions for “I’m Your Angel,� he and Celine Dion had a torrid love affair that Kelly would later document with the songs “(Sex) Love Is What We Makin’,� “Hit It Till the Mornin’,� and “Trapped in the Closet Chapter 11.�

The Truth: B. Like most stories about R. Kelly, this one is probably best told by court documents, but we’ll summarize anyway: According to a lawsuit filed by Jay-Z, Kelly’s co-headliner on 2004’s ill-fated Best of Both Worlds tour, the singer did indeed leave a sold-out show mid-set in St. Louis, Missouri, to work the drive-thru window at a local McDonald’s. (The claim was later confirmed by MTV News.) Hova’s suit further alleges that on the way to the Golden Arches, Kelly beat up the tour’s lighting director and made an onstage costume change, as the whole scene played out on the venue’s giant video screens.

Though he’s rumored to enjoy their pornography, Kelly’s never been an avowed fan of German poets; judging by his lyrics, he probably lost his virginity before his baby teeth; and though we can’t confirm a romance with Celine Dion, it certainly wouldn’t surprise us if that last one were true. —Lane Brown