Lindsay Lohan, Dismembered

“At first I was like, ‘I can’t do this, I’m getting my legs cut off. I don’t want to look like that in scenes, I want to look decent.’ But that was just me being young and stupid.� —Lindsay Lohan, who believes her role as a kidnap and torture victim in I Know Who Killed Me will prove she’s a serious actress [IMDB]

“I called him Sir Ben. And he said, ‘Oh, no, no, no, please, Ben.� And I said, ‘Yyyyeah, you know, the thing is, when’s the next time I’m gonna be sitting, with my pants off, on a knight?’� —Tea Leoni, on filming love scenes with Ben Kingsley in You Kill Me [EW]

“He’s put a lot into it, and it’s all very tasteful, except the stripper poles.� —Realtor Curt Clemens, on the 52-room Connecticut mansion 50 Cent recently put up for sale [MSNBC]

“Finally, I said, ‘Jay, it’s Paul! I’m not George! I’m the other Beatle.’� —Comedian Paul Rodriguez, on Jay Leno’s mistaking him for fellow Mexican comedian George Lopez [NYDN]

“It wasn’t a stretch for us — after all, we are Tomahawk.� —Guitarist Duane Denison, on why it’s obvious that his white-metal band should record an album inspired by traditional American Indian music [MTV]