Beware, Underage Drinkers: John Mayer Will Have His Way With You

“You will come-to in front of your disappointed parents with a face full of Sharpie and the sneaking suspicion that you’ve been teabagged by one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people of 2007.� —John Mayer warns underage drinkers about what will happen if they misbehave at future concerts [JohnMayer.com]

“We have an unusual relationship. We like each other’s company.� —Glenn Close on spending time with her 19-year-old daughter [PopMatters]

“I am not bfs w/ C Love, one night with her made me realise why Kurt killed himself.� —Lily Allen, allegedly, in a MySpace message to a friend about a night spent hanging out with Courtney Love [The Sun]

“It’s like asking a maggoty log if it would like to go to a woodpecker convention.� —Neil Gaiman, when asked if he would attend Comic-Con if he didn’t have anything to promote [HR]

�’You’re adopted.� —Amy Sherman-Palladino reveals (jokingly, we hope) the last line she would have written for the series finale of Gilmore Girls [EW]
—Hannah Tucker