Beyoncé Battles YouTube, Gravity

“If you taped that, please don’t put it on YouTube.� —Beyoncé to Orlando concertgoers, who promptly posted footage of her onstage fall on YouTube (see it here!) [NYP]

“I’m thankful the Red Sox are in first place.� —Matt Damon, upon receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame [USAT]

“If it wasn’t a quail, I want to shoot someone.� —No Reservations director Scott Hicks, after a real-life chef noticed that a roasted quail in the film was actually a squab [WP]

“I don’t have the Nobel Prize yet, either. People are so slow.� — Stan Lee, after being asked if he thought his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was overdue [TV Guide]

“People act as if I’m teaching children how to blow up cats.� —Barbara Park, author of the Junie B. Jones books, on being criticized for her fictional character’s imperfect grammar [NYT]