Turbonegro Bring Boners Back to Times Square

What is it about a pigtailed, potbellied Norwegian that makes people want to get it on? The potbelly, apparently. Hank Von Helvete, the husky, chaps-wearing front man for Turbonegro, Oslo, Norway’s foremost ambassadors of “deathpunk,� repeatedly assured those at Times Square’s Nokia Theatre last night that his portliness is a thing of sexiness and will result in unending satisfaction for the ladies. Trouble was, the crowd was too busy getting busy to listen to Von Helvete pontificate on the orgasm-inducing powers of his distended gut: Dudes were already moshing their shirtless bodies into each other or chanting “Erection!� in anticipation of the band’s angry ode to untimely boners (“I Got Erection�), and the few gals in attendance — mostly devoted girlfriends or glammed-up groupie types — had all found someone to dry-hump like they were at a junior-high dance.

Audience members’ members aside, the double-encore live show from these exuberant Oslo old-timers, who released their eighth full-length, Retox, last month, was spot on. While the advert-saturated Nokia — which will soon be headlined by platinum sellers like Yellowcard and Rihanna — seemed an uncomfortable setting for the schlocky sextet, Turbonegro cleverly extended their part-camp, part-hair-metal shtick to its logical extremes, with backing members sporting Village People–inspired hats and Von Helvete lacquering on Kiss-style makeup. Von Helvete growled, drank, clapped, straddled the mike stand, stripped, strutted, and salaciously flicked his tongue. If his band wasn’t powering through arena-sized songs about annihilation (“We’re Gonna Drop the Atom Bomb,� “Do You Do You Dig Destruction?� etc.), it meditated on what fans might do in their free time (“Sell Your Body [To the Night]�). And, certainly, it was the latter they were more concerned about. “Remember when Times Square was hot and sexy and cheap?� Von Helvete asked at one point. We don’t, but last night, for an evening at least, it was. —Julia Simon