We begin this long-awaited episode with Bailey giving a narration about creation and God and the human body. Hey, we’ll take anything over Meredith’s depressing soliloquies about dead mothers and terrible dancing. This week, we’re learning about the mysterious miracle of life, faith, and … Oh! There’s Bailey’s baby! He’s so cute! We know from the previews that something bad is about to happen to him. Watch out, baby! What else to watch out for? The convenient alignment of patients’ ailments with their doctors’ personal problems.
Alex and Izzie get: Elizabeth Archer, a faith healer with a failing heart. Elizabeth wanders the hospital, curing patients with her touch … but she can’t cure herself!
What it means: Elizabeth tells Alex that there’s a darkness where his heart is supposed to be. She can tell that someone hurt him, and that although he was a good boy, he’s now a bad man. A bad — but hot — man. Elizabeth wants a doctor to talk her through her upcoming surgery, and Alex gets Izzie to do it.
The outcome: Alex is still depressed about the hasty (and shirtless!) departure of No-Face. Izzie, who was lamenting the fact that she doesn’t have Cristina’s drive, gets a confidence boost when Alex chooses her to help. We don’t find out how the surgery goes, but wouldn’t it be funny if the faith healer died?
Bailey and Hahn and Cristina get: Bailey’s baby, Tuck! Little Tuck got out of his fenced-in playpen and into his mother’s study, where he managed to get crushed by a falling bookcase. Whatever’s actually wrong with him, it’s apparently dire.
What it means: Bailey feels tremendously guilty about leaving Tuck’s gate open, and her hubby’s mighty pissed. Hahn acts like a b-i-t-c-h and kicks Bailey out of the operating room while she’s working on Tuck. Cristina volunteers to hold Tuck’s baby hand during the surgery in Bailey’s absence, thus giving up the chance to actually operate on him.
The outcome: The baby’s fine, but Bailey and Tucker separate! Their marriage is suffering because of Bailey’s insane work schedule. Why does everyone break up in this damn show? At least Bailey gets to tell crooked-faced Hahn off. And Christina proves she’s not a robot with her hand-holding act.
In other news, Meredith and McDreamy split (again) after she learns that he made out with Nurse Rose. And so McDreamy asks Rose out again. George’s Catholic mom gets angry when she discovers his infidelity and separation. Hahn rejects McSteamy … for Callie? Thankfully, Isaiah Washington’s not around to call them out on it.
We’ll see you again when the writers’ strike is resolved. Over and out! —Emma Rosenblum