From The Onion, “All Those Years Shopping At Independent Bookstore Wastedâ€: “‘I put so much time into supporting my quirky local bookshop, with its charming window displays and us-versus-the-world attitude, and for what?’ said Brear, adding that she even went through the trouble of befriending the husband-and-wife owners and their cat, Ulysses. ‘Countless hours wasted quietly browsing their shelves when I could have just ordered this shit for way cheaper online.’ Brear told reporters that the next time she needs gardening supplies, the little hardware store around the corner can go fuck itself, because she’s going to Home Depot.â€
