Radar Online has a scoop about Hollywood’s most eccentric conspiracy theorists, Randy and Evi Quaid, but first, this amazing disclaimer: “Full disclosure time: the Quaids … said in an interview with Esquire that RadarOnline.com is owned by the police. (We have offered to place them in protective custody.)†Yes, that pretty much nails it right there. Anyway, according to Radar, the Quaids are seeking a ghostwriter for a book they’re pitching about the “Hollywood Star Whackers†that have supposedly sent them on the run. Interested parties should be able to send writing samples, go on shopping runs with Evi for thigh-high boots, and brainstorm outlandish ideas about the murder of Ronni Chasen. [Radar Online]