Few people would want to model their career immolations after Charlie Sheen, but Conan O’Brien has been taking appreciative notes. “Here’s the thing that pisses me off,†O’Brien said this weekend at a benefit for Malaria No More in Los Angeles. “A year ago, I got into a … big fight with my network, and then I said ‘Eff you, I’m out of here.’ I walked out and then I went on a tour all around the country, 42 cities, and then I lost my mind. One year to the day later, Charlie Sheen: big fight with his network, says ‘Eff you, I’m out of here,’ walks out, goes on a 42-city tour, loses his mind, but brings two porn stars with him. That man is a genius! I blew it, I didn’t bring porn stars!†Instead, said O’Brien, “I brought two chess champions and had them make out. Two dudes. It was terrible. I liked watching it, it fulfilled my fantasy, but no one else seemed to care.†Maybe that explains Mad Conan? [YouTube via On the Red Carpet]