Generously, the three-time host posted the tips in an open letter, in case any of the rest of us should have to host the Oscars at some point. Some highlights: “Start slimming down now. You looked kinda paunchy in NORBIT.†And: “Whatever you do, don’t have a co-host. They’re a big pain and they just end up breaking your SNL hosting record.†(Alec Baldwin has not yet tweeted a response.) But Martin’s most important advice, for both Oscar-hosting and life in general: “If you feel tired midway through, give Neil Patrick Harris a Red Bull and throw some sheet music at him.†Do that, Eddie. [Steve Martin]