A few years ago, when Hollywood went on a board-game-movie buying spree, Vulture imagined the plot of the forthcoming (still!) Candyland thusly: “When King Kandy (Oliver Platt) is dramatically abducted, Princess Lolly of the Lollipop Woods (Anne Hathaway) recruits hard-nosed, pint-size private eye Charlie Mack (Bobb’e J. Thompson) to save the day.†(It goes on.) Unfortunately, it was announced today, Hasbro did not see eye to eye with us on this particular project, and they’ve instead recruited Adam Sandler for the adaptation. Yes, Adam Sandler is in final talks to star in a movie based on a game in which children learn how to count by crossing the Gumdrop Mountains. Plot details are scarce, but the words “fantastical, live-action family adventure film†were used in a press release, so it probably does involve Adam Sandler skipping over a rainbow-colored candy path or some such absurdity. Bright side: Maybe they’ll Battleship it up with some aliens. Fantastical!