What Will Happen When Jonah Hill Hosts SNL?

It’s been four years since Jonah Hill first hosted Saturday Night Live, but much has changed: He’s been nominated for an Academy Award; he’s been cast in a TV-to-film adaptation with franchise potential; and he’s lost weight (and, as Billy Crystal noted at the Oscars, gained some back). How will the show’s producers integrate Hill’s new status and circumstances into his second SNL hosting appearance? Here are some predictions.

11:29 p.m. Cold Open: An increasingly punchy Wolf Blitzer (Jason Sudeikis) has to struggle to fill time as Super Tuesday drags on endlessly.

11:37 p.m. Monologue: Host Jonah Hill, nervous about meeting expectations now that he’s an Oscar nominee, gets an assist from his Superbad co-star Michael Cera (Taran Killam).

11:39 p.m. Commercial Parody: Apple tries to sell the new iPad by emphasizing the worthlessness of the iPad 2 (though differentiating them gets harder the longer the ad goes on).

11:45 p.m. A Hooters manager (Hill) explains, to his staff of comely waitresses, all the specials that will be on offer to mark the restaurant’s celebration of International Women’s Day.

11:52 p.m. Tim Tebow (Killam) meets with ABC about becoming the next star of the network’s reality hit, The Bachelor, only to find himself increasingly horrified by all the intimacy he’d be expected to share with the show’s female contestants.

12:02 a.m. The Shins perform.

12:08 a.m. Weekend Update features travel expert Judy Grimes (Kristen Wiig) sharing tips about spring break getaways, and Peyton Manning (cameo as himself) weighing his career options.

12:20 a.m. “Game Time With Randy and Greg� attempts to cover March Madness, only to be derailed by questions from viewers calling in to ask whether Greg (Bill Hader) is an alien.

12:25 a.m. Digital Short: Sparks fly when Hill (as himself) is reunited with Andy Samberg’s dad.

12:30 a.m. Hill (as himself) auditions to play the lead in John Carter, but suggests a different take on the character — one that has Carter wearing his shirt more.

12:39 a.m. Ann Romney (Wiig) premieres a talk show in which she demonstrates how down-to-earth she is, proving her claim this week that she’s “not wealthy�; Callista Gingrich (Vanessa Bayer) joins Ann as her guest.

12:47 a.m. The Shins perform.

12:53 a.m. Brad Pitt (Killam), desperate to get away from his many kids for a while, calls Hill (as himself) to sketch out a story line for Moneyball 2.

12:59 a.m. Good night!