Follow Friday: @EveryTweet_Ever

Everybody is a comedian on Twitter, but only a select few are worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual who consistently makes us laugh. You’re welcome.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)

Two months ago, entertainment reporter Chris Serico revealed on his tumblr that he was the man behind the popular twitter account @Every Tweet Ever, which is “pretty much every tweet you’ve already seen and will ever see.� It’s a constant reminder of how derivative most tweets are, despite the fact that Twitter has only been around for five years (and only popular for three.) It’s also an indictment on how unoriginal most of us human beings are, which is what makes it so funny (and hurtful). We are all @EveryTweet_Ever.

We live in a world full of pain.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/142140084421017600�]

Half of us have attributed this quote to Abraham Lincoln.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/179785738055979008�]

We haven’t slept in over a decade.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/159138455539036163�]

But we want everyone to think otherwise.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/212784971289608192�]

We may need some medication.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/184859817981120512�]

We’re all defensive.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/182202179887697921�]

And want to seem in control when we’re crying for help.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/144640922347515904�]

We’re all Star Wars nerds.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/198435128278646785�]

And Arrested Development fans.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/152506648580210689�]

We all have thoughts on a certain Miami Heat traitor player.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/216015035082866689�]

We all miss Ana Gasteyer.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/188831399686586371�]

Our exes aren’t even on Twitter.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/200785072113188865�]

We all know that if a lot of people like something it is stupid.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/192456608142471168�]

We want more followers.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/147023044597125120�]

We’re lonely on Friday nights.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/208768950912286721�]

And Saturday nights.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/EveryTweet_Ever/status/224315857814290435�]

Some of us still use FourSquare apparently.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/159125547425857536�]

We know that there’s one band that writes lyrics just meant for us.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/206918717634908161�]

We need to remind the world that we’re still technically alive.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/205075417185525760�]

R.I.P.

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/everytweet_ever/status/192720260888150017�]

What the hell does this tweet mean?

[blackbirdpie url=�https://twitter.com/EveryTweet_Ever/status/225448596131151872�]

Roger Cormier is a guy who insists on making an esoteric joke pertaining to the article instead of actually describing himself because internet.