The Fug Girls Live-Blog the 2013 Oscar Red Carpet

Photo: Jae C. Hong/AP/Corbis

The journey to the Oscars can seem like an endless road — starting with the Globes, winding through the SAGs, crossing the pond for the BAFTAs, and then twiddling our thumbs through about six other acronyms — but at last, we have arrived: The Academy Awards are tonight, finally satisfying all our lingering awards-season questions. Forget whether Jennifer Lawrence beats Jessica Chastain for the statue; which one will dominate on the red carpet?  Just how good can Anne Hathaway look while she delivers what will probably be yet another really bad speech? And fresh off her surprise BAFTA triumph, will Emmanuelle Riva finally show up at one of these things — and if she does, will she look Helen Mirren dishy or Meryl Streep frumpy? Join us and find the answers, as we live-blog the red-carpet arrivals. It starts right now. (See all the fashions on Vulture’s comprehensive, constantly updated red carpet gallery, and over on The Cut they are declaring real-time hits and misses.)

Fug Girls Live-Blog the 2013 Oscars Red Carpet

(02/24/2013)

  

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6:04

The Fug Girls:  And here we go! The E! red carpet actually technically started half an hour ago, but all you've missed -- seriously -- is an interview with a monkey in a red frock. A literal, actual monkey, whom you may know from such hits as Hangover and Hangover 2. Also: Giuliana cut her hair and it looks extremely cute in a messy bob. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:04 The Fug Girls

6:06	The Fug Girls:  Ryan's got Eddie Redmayne, who is not wearing velvet for once. Eddie's pompadour is about to challenge Ryan's pompadour to a duel; they both look a bit like they're considering appearing in A Salute To Brandon Walsh. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:06 The Fug Girls

6:10

The Fug Girls:  Can we just take this downtime -- while Ryan talks to Seth MacFarlane's family -- and talk about how Kelly O. is apparently just a purple-head now? Her dress is pretty, though. We catch a glimpse of Chastain and it....might be good? Everyone cross your fingers, but she may have pulled it off on Oscar night again. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:10 The Fug Girls

6:11	The Fug Girls:  Why are Ryan Lochte's sit-down interviews for his reality show filmed with, like, an empty water bottle and a knife rack in the background. Get a green screen and pretend he's sitting in front of a pool, you guys. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:11 The Fug Girls

6:11	[Comment From FluffFluff: ]  It is crazy hair night. They are taking advice from Tommy Lee Jones's wig in Lincoln. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:11 Fluff

6:16

The Fug Girls:  Chastain's dress fits her beautifully, and she looks great. Two for two at the Oscars for Chastain. This is a tremendous relief. (That being said, it's sort of weird that she's arrived so very early. You're allowed to make the Big Celebrity Late Entrance, Chastain.) Sunday February 24, 2013 6:16 The Fug Girls

6:17	The Fug Girls:  I fear Guiliana is calling Quvenzhane Wallis "Little Q" because she doesn't know how to pronounce "Quvenzhane Wallis." Sunday February 24, 2013 6:17 The Fug Girls

6:19	[Comment From KaleyKaley: ]  So, is Guiliana being sequestered from talking to actual celebs? Good call E. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:19 Kaley

6:22

The Fug Girls:  And Ryan has Chastain, who seems delighted that everyone loves her Armani dress, which she says has a "very 'Happy Birthday Mr. President' vibe." Every time she gives a red carpet interview, we are reminded that she is really charming in interview. She has brought her grandmother -- a fellow ginger, in Michael Kors -- as her date once again. Ryan calls Grandma Chastain "mamacita" AND "Nana," which should be annoying, but is actually kind of sweet. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:22 The Fug Girls

6:22	The Fug Girls:  We just caught a glimpse of Amy Adams and she might be wearing a shower pouf. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:22 The Fug Girls

6:24	[Comment From Eeeradicator!Eeeradicator!: ]  A shower pouf that is washing her out. Ha? Sunday February 24, 2013 6:24 Eeeradicator!

6:27

The Fug Girls:  And Amy is with Ryan. She is wearing a grey Oscar de la Renta and a very, very nervous expression. You're not going to win, girl. Take a deep breath. This particular dress feels sort of reminiscent of Penelope Cruz's amazing blush one from...whenever that was. That dress was so glorious, every one following it feels like a pale imitation. On the other end of the carpet, Samantha Barks is showing MAJOR CLEAV. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:27 The Fug Girls

6:29	The Fug Girls:  E! really HAS sequestered Giuliana away from the celebs. Is this because the Ryan-less SAGs Red Carpet was such an unmitigated disaster? It has to be, right? Now we feel sort of sorry for Giuliana. Don't worry. This will pass. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:29 The Fug Girls

6:31	The Fug Girls:  The limo came just caught Kerry Washington struggling to yank up her Prada; it was a very human, cute moment...that also has us concerned Kerry's dress might fall off at some point. (Insert hacky "Scandal" joke here.) Sunday February 24, 2013 6:31 The Fug Girls

6:35

The Fug Girls:  Ryan gets Channing Tatum, and a very pregnant Jenna Dewan-Tatum, whose bump is covered in black lace. The two of them are so cute together. Quvenzhane Wallis and her dog purse follows the Dewan/Tatums and she is so cute. "It. Has. Been. Crazy," she tells Ryan of awards season, and then says she picked her dress because "it was sparkly and fluffy." We've all been THERE. Ryan pulls in Quvenzhane's mother and sister, who are -- rightly -- super proud of her and are allowing her "an extended night" tonight. She is just the best. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:35 The Fug Girls

6:37

The Fug Girls:  Reese Witherspoon has totally worn this blue and black Louis Vuitton dress before, we feel like. Ryan pulls Giuliana in to ask her about her voluminous hair, and asks her how women at home can get it; Reese's response is, essentially, "have a baby." Which is....awkward. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:37 The Fug Girls

6:39	The Fug Girls:  Octavia Spencer looks classy in Tadashi Shoji, as ever. We can't stop thinking of her turn on 30 Rock this season, wherein she basically played the Lady Tracy Jordan, and was totally hilarious. Never stop being awesome, Octavia. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:39 The Fug Girls

6:39	[Comment From AlexandraAlexandra: ]  I'm pretty sure when the screen flashed to Octavia Spencer about five minutes pre-Ryan, it listed her as Viola Davis.... Can anyone confirm? Sunday February 24, 2013 6:39 Alexandra

6:39	The Fug Girls:  @Alexandra, You are correct; the E! chyron writers screwed up. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:39 The Fug Girls

6:46

The Fug Girls:  Ryan has Kerry Washington, who seriously just name-checked her trainer. She's in Miu Miu and her bodice looks kind of like a chandelier. Zoe Saldana is wandering around the background, and we both said, "huh! I kind of like that" in unison. Her dress is white, but the bottom has ombre gray detailing emerging from a slit. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:46 The Fug Girls

6:46	[Comment From ChasmosaurChasmosaur: ]  Jackie Weaver just polished her teeth behind Daniel Radcliffe. I love her. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:46 Chasmosaur

6:48

The Fug Girls:  Jacki Weaver tells Ryan that she missed this morning's "Silver Linings Playbook" brunch because it takes her three hours to put her face on, and then bemoans the fact that she has to give her jewels back at the end of the night, and then she says, "what beautiful eyes you have." It turns out she might be a kick to hang out with. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:48 The Fug Girls

6:50	The Fug Girls:  There was a collective groan when Melissa McCarthy got out of the limo. She looks like she did her hair with a bottle of Aqua Net and a wind tunnel. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:50 The Fug Girls

6:52

The Fug Girls:  Amanda Seyfried is always spacy when speaking to Ryan, and tonight is no exception. In the distance, we got a glimpse of Jennifer Lawrence, whose dress is...large. Very large. And perhaps not particularly great. The bottom of it appears to be exploding. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:52 The Fug Girls

6:53	The Fug Girls:  Sally Field is wearing the red "I'm Not Going to Win" dress from Armani's most recent collection. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:53 The Fug Girls

6:55

The Fug Girls:  Jennifer Lawrence swoops into Ryan and announces that she is starving. Someone bring that girl a snack! She then compares her morning to Steve Martin in Father of the Bride. THEN she leans into the mani-cam and growls, "YOUR ASS IS MINE, STONE." AND these comments are why we love her. Even if she is kind of wearing a wedding dress. Sunday February 24, 2013 6:55 The Fug Girls

7:03

The Fug Girls:  After the ads, Ryan has Sally Field and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. "I tied his bow-tie in the car," she says. His dimples are adorable. It's also adorable when Dustin Hoffman comes up and JGL basically totally fan-boys out. That kid is a charmer In the background, we spy Catherine Zeta Jones in a very VERY sparkly gold Murad. CZJ, do you really need to be following in the footsteps of J Lo? Sunday February 24, 2013 7:03 The Fug Girls

7:05

The Fug Girls:  Up next, Melissa McCarthy, whose hair is still amazingly huge. In the backroom, Jennifer Hudson looks fine (she will always look better than the night she won, sadly), and Charlize looks major in white with her super, super short hair. Although, in fairness, does Charlize NEVER not look major? In other news, there appear to be approximately 500 people performing at this Oscars, which has us scared they are recreating the infamous Snow White musical number. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:05 The Fug Girls

7:06	[Comment From leannaleanna: ]  Can we have a counter for how many times Kelly Osborne say "I'm OBSESSED with..."? Sunday February 24, 2013 7:06 leanna

7:07	The Fug Girls:  Want to get a gander at all the red carpet looks? Vulture's Red Carpet Gallery is live! Sunday February 24, 2013 7:07 The Fug Girls

7:09	The Fug Girls:  Also: you definitely want to keep up with The Cut's Hit List, aka "the best, worst, and nip-slip-iest moments from the Academy Awards red carpet and telecast" Sunday February 24, 2013 7:09 The Fug Girls

7:11	The Fug Girls:  Rumor has it Anne Hathaway ditched her Valentino -- AFTER the triumphant press release -- and will wear Prada instead. The Valentino did sound like the same color scheme as her Armani performance gown is reported to be, but still. DRAMA. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:11 The Fug Girls

7:12	The Fug Girls:  The Prada is apparently also light pink, so... I guess girlfriend just loves pink. Come on, Hathaway. Stop changing your clothes and hit the carpet. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:12 The Fug Girls

7:13	The Fug Girls:  Seeing CZJ here is making us wish Rock of Ages had been nominated, just... because. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:13 The Fug Girls

7:14	The Fug Girls:  Almost two hours in, and Seacrest's hair is still fully standing at attention. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:14 The Fug Girls

7:15	The Fug Girls:  Wear lipstick, Helen Hunt. Please. You need to be wearing lipstick. Borrow some from Chastain. We love that she's in H&M, though. "With $700,000 of jewelry," she said. "NOT from H&M," Seacrest quipped. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:15 The Fug Girls

7:16

The Fug Girls:  Hathaway alert. She may have left on her jewels from the aborted Valentino because it fights with the neckline. The dress is very pale pink with a very high almost apron-like neck. We will report back once E! actually gets its act together. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:16 The Fug Girls

7:16	[Comment From Sarah Beth WellsSarah Beth Wells: ]  Um hello, did anyone just see how CZJ awkwardly was denied the mani-cam by Seacrest? OUCH. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:16 Sarah Beth Wells

7:17	The Fug Girls:  Jane Fonda is a vision in bright yellow. Has anyone worn a major color yet, other than her? Snooze. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:17 The Fug Girls

7:19

The Fug Girls:  The nipple darts on Hathaway's dress are INTENSE. And her interview is truly insufferable. The way she talks about her husband and marriage almost sounds like she's constantly trying to convince herself it's true. But the dress is both bland and not good, and it makes us wonder how bad the Valentino must have been. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:19 The Fug Girls

7:20	The Fug Girls:  Naomi Watts' crazy space-age Armani actually looks super on her, and we feel like Hathaway should've worn that instead. Naomi has it right: Don't go bland on Oscar night; go big. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:20 The Fug Girls

7:21	[Comment From JillianJillian: ]  Anne Hathaway-- Breakfast at Tiffany's, with highbeams. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:21 Jillian

7:22	The Fug Girls:  Charlize's dress isn't awful, but it is fairly bland. Her face is still awesome and she can carry off that hair, but sweet Lord, is nobody giving away free lipstick in this town anymore? Sunday February 24, 2013 7:22 The Fug Girls

7:25	The Fug Girls:  Just got this release that Kristen Stewart will be in "a pale blush strapless couture hand beaded gown with pleated tulle inserts by Reem Acra." Sunday February 24, 2013 7:25 The Fug Girls

7:26	The Fug Girls:  We are concerned that we'll be relying on the after-parties for dresses in groovy colors. Even Kristen Stewart went with "pale blush," which is code for "BORING." Sunday February 24, 2013 7:26 The Fug Girls

7:26	[Comment From panthergirlpanthergirl: ]  Trend on the carpet: real-colored teeth. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:26 panthergirl

7:27	The Fug Girls:  We wonder if Seacrest has a No Product Placement clause because they are making Giuliana do ALL of it. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:27 The Fug Girls

7:28

The Fug Girls:  ALERT: Aniston is in an orangey red. Per an earlier release she was ALSO supposedly in nude Valentino, so if Valentino has its act together, it should say -- whether it's true or not -- that someone sent out a bogus press release. Aniston's is evocative of Jennifer Lawrence's Globes Dior, but with fewer eyelids on her boobs. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:28 The Fug Girls

7:29	The Fug Girls:  Jennifer Aniston's dress is also a big ball gown, which is a really rare silhouette for her -- tentative thumbs up. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:29 The Fug Girls

7:30	The Fug Girls:  Zanna Roberts Rassi is saying that Naomi Watts and Armani have been working on this gown since the Globes, which is a nice tidbit. And well worth it - the fit is impeccable and she's winning the red carpet. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:30 The Fug Girls

7:32	The Fug Girls:  Why IS there so much filler happening on E! right now? It's an hour before the Oscars. PEOPLE ARE THERE. Perhaps Seacrest does not have a superhuman bladder to match his superhuman hair. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:32 The Fug Girls

7:33

The Fug Girls:  We switched to ABC's coverage, and Kelly Rowland is co-hosting in a black and white gown with a major slit. She got Joseph Gordon-Levitt to show off his socks that might have bicycles on them -- obviously a premeditated question and yet nobody got a close-up. Come on, fools. ZOOM. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:33 The Fug Girls

7:33	[Comment From panthergirlpanthergirl: ]  Lady wearing the Purina Dog Chow box as a dress? You don't get to weigh in on anyone else's fashion choices. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:33 panthergirl

7:34	The Fug Girls:  Zanna IS much cuter than that aggressive Marc Jacobs, we agree. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:34 The Fug Girls

7:34	The Fug Girls:  Starting now, apparently ABC has an hour of exclusivity on the red carpet, so we're with Rowland and Co. from here until closing. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:34 The Fug Girls

7:35	The Fug Girls:  Just got a glimpse of Halle Berry and it looks like she might have redeemed the hideous gown she wore at the Globes. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:35 The Fug Girls

7:38	The Fug Girls:  Kristen Chenoweth's shoe fell off and Bradley Cooper helped her put her foot back into it, which was quite adorable. Trivia: She's an Oklahoma City Thunder fan. There will be a quiz. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:38 The Fug Girls

7:40	The Fug Girls:  Nicole Kidman looks pretty darn good in her black and gold sequined gown. We almost didn't recognize Keith Urban, on account of how his shirt is buttoned up all the way. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:40 The Fug Girls

7:42	The Fug Girls:  We wish Charlize would whip out a boom box with that commercial's song on it, and turn to the camera and purr, "J'ADORE DIOR." Sunday February 24, 2013 7:42 The Fug Girls

7:43	The Fug Girls:  We will never NOT be pleased to see Robin Roberts. She is rocking out a blue gown and we're so happy she's okay. Sniffle. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:43 The Fug Girls

7:43	[Comment From clerbsclerbs: ]  the song is heavy cross by gossip lol Sunday February 24, 2013 7:43 clerbs

7:46	The Fug Girls:  It seems egregious that ABC is using its exclusive time to promote contest winners, rather than Oscar winners. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:46 The Fug Girls

7:47

The Fug Girls:  Jennifer Garner is in purple with a bow ruffle. She and Affleck are reportedly doing the carpet very much together, which feels... a lot like a victory lap for both of them, frankly. As soon as the dust settles, even money that they don't appear on a carpet together again for a long time. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:47 The Fug Girls

7:49

The Fug Girls:  Every time we cut back to E!, they have added somebody to the coffee klatch. We also heard someone say Adele swapped off Valentino for a gunmetal Jenny Packham. Bad day for Valentino. Worse day for us, if we don't get to SEE the rejected gowns. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:49 The Fug Girls

7:51

The Fug Girls:  Deborra-Lee Furness is wearing a suit and a long blonde fake ponytail, which she just swished around with glee. Hugh Jackman looked delighted. And then he picked up her and Cheno in the same swoop. It was a treat. We kind of love Deborra-Lee Furness. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:51 The Fug Girls

7:53

The Fug Girls:  Chris Evans is there with his mother, which is sweet, although we wonder if ladyfriend Minka Kelly would've preferred that plus-one. Kelly Rowland is not doing a great job with this interview, but Chris is making it easier on her, by coming up with lovely answers to her jumbled questions. We have sympathy for Kelly, as we think we are terrible interviewers also. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:53 The Fug Girls

7:53	The Fug Girls:  The lighting on ABC is strange -- all the men's shirts look pink. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:53 The Fug Girls

7:53	[Comment From spietownspietown: ]  Disagree on Mr.s Hugh Jackman. when your spouse is a nominee, dress appropriately and look like you made an effort or GTFO. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:53 spietown

7:54	The Fug Girls:  Oh, we weren't saying we liked the outfit -- just that we like HER. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:54 The Fug Girls

7:58

The Fug Girls:  E! is showing Sandra Bullock in a grey semi-see-through lacy Elie Saab that is CRAZY flattering on her body. She is ridiculously fit right now. Zanna Roberts looks like she wants to pass out with envy. Meanwhile, Salma Hayek is WAY overdone in a throttling bejeweled bodice. Her smile is tight; wonder if the jewels are too. Sunday February 24, 2013 7:58 The Fug Girls

8:00	The Fug Girls:  It's amazing how much more useful E's coverage is when they're just sitting at tables, showing pictures of people. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:00 The Fug Girls

8:01	The Fug Girls:  Jennifer Aniston calls her dress "very King and I,"which it is, but in a good way. Her hair is the same as it ever was, though. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:01 The Fug Girls

8:02	The Fug Girls:  Aniston is in Valentino after all, just a different one than advertised. The fact that she looks great in it might make up for the other issues that company is having tonight. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:02 The Fug Girls

8:04

The Fug Girls:  Jennifer Garner's dress is custom Gucci, with a waterfall of fabric in the back that might be a little aggressive. Halle Berry is in a really slinky Versace with gold vertical sparkly stripes (she said she told them she wanted to go as a Bond Girl for the Oscars), and it's such an improvement over her Globes gown that we're almost misty. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:04 The Fug Girls

8:04	[Comment From RebeccaRebecca: ]  So, do Halle Berry and Eddie Redmayne have the same hair stylist? Sunday February 24, 2013 8:04 Rebecca

8:05	The Fug Girls:  Adele's Jenny Packham is nice and sparkly and simple -- not a world-beater but certainly pretty. We just love how normal she is. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:05 The Fug Girls

8:06	The Fug Girls:  Stacy Keibler is wearing a GREAT Naeem Khan gown that we seriously really love. Please God let her bring Clooney to that show next season so they can sit with our best friend Matt Damon. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:06 The Fug Girls

8:07	The Fug Girls:  George Clooney looks like he's trying to style himself like The Most Interesting Man In The World. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:07 The Fug Girls

8:14	The Fug Girls:  Anne Hathaway correctly guessed ABC's mystery item and Cheno was so shocked that she screamed, "HOLY CRAP." Sunday February 24, 2013 8:14 The Fug Girls

8:15	The Fug Girls:  Jamie Foxx's daughter is lovely. But she also seems to be giving Kelly Rowland some serious "STEP OFF MY DAD" eyes. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:15 The Fug Girls

8:15

The Fug Girls:  At least Anne Hathaway's head looks good, although we wish she would trim up the hair instead of growing it out. She tells Cheno that she was a shaking mess when she had to cut it off for the film, but boy, did she come out on the happy end of that story. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:15 The Fug Girls

8:17	The Fug Girls:  Fifteen minutes until sandwiches. We cannot wait, and cannot imagine how it feels to be at the Oscars, in a gown, saying, "FOUR HOURS UNTIL SANDWICHES." Sunday February 24, 2013 8:17 The Fug Girls

8:19

The Fug Girls:  ABC's best dressed is Jennifer Lawrence. Kelly Rowland says she loved Charlize's haircut, which... how come nobody seems to know that she shaved her head for a movie months ago? We also got a shot of Kristen Stewart, whose Reem Acra had actual separation from her chest. Not a good sign. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:19 The Fug Girls

8:24

The Fug Girls:  Ending with a musical number is a curious choice. Don't you feel like all the celebs will be looking at their watches going, "Really? We don't need to stay for this -- let's just go drink"? Then again, can they really leave en masse while something is happening? Guess we'll find out. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:24 The Fug Girls

8:25	The Fug Girls:  Things are winding down -- now they're inside asking Queen Latifah if she wants to host ever. It would have been hilarious if she'd been like, 'Hell no." Sunday February 24, 2013 8:25 The Fug Girls

8:26	[Comment From RaineriRRCRaineriRRC: ]  Bet's gonna be a Smash music number Sunday February 24, 2013 8:26 RaineriRRC

8:26	The Fug Girls:  Wrong network! So rest assured it won't be. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:26 The Fug Girls

8:29	The Fug Girls:  AND WE ARE OUT. Finally, this sucker is going to begin. Thanks so much for joining us, and don't forget to click over to Vulture's live-blog of the telecast. And once again, here is the link to The Cut's complete red-carpet slideshow. Sunday February 24, 2013 8:29 The Fug Girls

8:32