Everybody fancies themselves as some sort of wizard that can conjure up laughter by a few strokes of a keyboard, but only a few tweeters are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual that you might not know about who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.
(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)
Patrick Walsh (@thepatrickwalsh) is a man who doesn’t let The Vatican dictate how he spends his days, no matter what.
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But if someone has an unfortunate opinion it can throw Patrick off immensely.
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He’s a naturally good pitchman.
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Walsh’s closet can talk.
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His apartment is perverted and over, though.
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Patrick is Facebook friends with some characters from high school.
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Walsh blacks out sometimes.
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Patrick has always gotten things done.
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Unless that thing was choosing where to eat lunch.
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Walsh is a multi-tasker.
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But don’t invite him to your friend’s improv show.
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Patrick wants to be loved for the right reasons.
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And not for his lovemaking with frustratingly ambiguous endings.
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Or for not taking a loss too badly.
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Or for his pillow talk.
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Women need to love him despite his many glaring flaws.
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Patrick can be inconsiderate.
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Otherwise it’s over.
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It’s for the best. He was in an abusive relationship to begin with already.
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