Every Jennifer Love Hewitt Client List Outfit
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s sex-worker drama The Client List returned last night for its second season. The show’s first season was marked by three things: One, it was extremely popular, regularly pulling in more than 2.5 million viewers. Two, it was weirdly unerotic, despite being about a woman who gives extremely tender, therapeutic hand jobs to paying clients. (That’s JLH, who plays Riley, a Texas woman who’s left with few employment options after her husband ditches her and their two young children.) And three, Riley sported some sometimes absurd clothing. She’s no Olivia Pope, that’s for sure. Journey with us through all of Riley’s cleavage-enhancing tops, ridiculous bra-and-panty getups, and button-down shirts that are very rarely buttoned.
Just a normal outfit for a child's birthday party. Don't hide your light under a bushel basket, Riley!
Even when she's not working, Riley tends to wear garments that emphasize her chest.
Okay, fine, not here. But usually!
Business casual — appropriate even for sex work.
Nipped waist, neck detail — super-femme, Riley.
She's squirting lotion into her hands because she's about to give a hand job.
Those handy-jays support her family, though, so judge not lest ye etc, etc.
Black lingerie, a staple of Riley's work attire.
Exhibit B: Light all those candles and make this a sensual massage to remember!
Ha, ha, ha, sex work is fun!
The woman likes a sundress. (PS, the massage parlor where she works is called the Rub. THE RUB.)
You won't like her when she's angry.
We'll see the jacket-with-a-form-fitting-tank look over and over. Trust.
To the show's credit, at least it acknowledges that perfectly flouncy hair takes some work.
Sure, that's what any of us would wear to a school.
Whatever, button, don't button, what are we, the shirt-buttoning police? We are not. Breathe easy!
"Howdy."
Drowsy.
Fair enough, love does hurt. Especially when "love" is your husband who's left you high and dry.
There is nothing better-looking in this world than a classic trench coat. (Small deduction for shininess.)
But she earns points back for only wearing sexy-garbs underneath.
Here, Riley is dressed in costume as "a hand-job enthusiast."
Girlie dress, part 12.
The rare home-y tee!
Purple lingerie and a very happy client. Look at that guy's smile.
Sundress. Drink.
This pink smock is part of the uniform at the Rub, but Riley personalizes it by wearing different black slips underneath.
Keep those loose sleeves away from open flames, Riley! Haven't you ever watched The Sopranos?
Go Longhorns.
Pick up dry cleaning — check. Display surprising amount of enthusiasm for "massages," check ...
Glasses, for when you want your hand-jobbers to seem smarter.
The glasses are part of a whole naughty-business-lady ensemble.
Girly dress, now in a fun print.
Pink smock, per protocol.
This is the best outfit of the whole season.
Nothing like coming home after a long day of work.
Riley has an unusually hunky clientele.
Blousy!
That lotion is in the corner to remind you of all the rubbing Riley has to do. So much rubbing. At the Rub.
She does wear a lot of cute prints — we will give her that.
Either be longer or be shorter, dress!
Everything is going to be all right, except for the spelling on that T-shirt.
Return of the shiny trench.
More people watch The Client List than watch Mad Men. True story!
Back to the business-casual.
For something so schmatta-ish, this almost works.
This, however, does not.
Ah, the good old pink smock.
A tank? Will she wear a jacket or blazer over it?
Phew! Yes, she will.
This is the most covered-up we've ever seen Riley. And it doesn't really suit her! That clavicle wants to breathe free.
Close enough.
Sure, that's a nice black dress, but the real star of this shot is that stack of cheese.
This is what she wears for home-improvement projects.
It's a romper, the least convenient of all clothes!
Try not to look so surprised, dude. She wears that pink shirt all the time.
Okay, let's talk about undergarments. Sure, we see Riley in fancy bras and stuff, but what the show does not acknowledge is how often she must be wear...
Okay, let's talk about undergarments. Sure, we see Riley in fancy bras and stuff, but what the show does not acknowledge is how often she must be wearing strapless supportwear. (Note how delicate the straps are on many of the sundresses.)
Sometimes the pink shirt goes over the white button-down.
Spoiler: We see this tank under a blazer at the end of the episode.
Yes, that's Andi from The West Wing on the right. How the might have fallen, Congresswoman Wyatt.
Like we said, not the button police.
Or the white-nightie police.
Whew, here's that tank with the blazer.
No one comes here for the calf massages, Riley.
Unless that is your leg-massaging brassiere.
Festive! But again, loose sleeves by an open flame. Dangerous.
Not bad!
You don't want to know what those towels are for.
You'd think after wearing tha salmon color all day at work, she'd be tired of it, but apparently not.
Don't worry, that's not actually a mock-turtleneck. There's a slight slit in the front that goes down to the sternum.
Aw, flashback clothes.
Everyone wants a piece of that color-blocking trend.
Everyone is entitled to some good old sweatpants.
Don't we all wear bustiers and blazers to the salon?
And yet sometimes she does dress like a sane, regular person.
Not at work, obviously.
Obviously.
But sometimes!
That's just a really pretty dress, no bones about it.
This top suffers by comparison.
A different, but also pretty, black dress.
Actually, maybe we should be the button police.
She's just a regular soccer mom, guys.
Well, not quite.
As if the straight-ironed hair wasn't jarring enough, now the pink shirt is buttoned.
Given Riley's wardrobe, "inoffensive" is high praise.
Team Casual Riley.
The dress is okay, but yeesh, those shoes hurt just to look at.
Casual Riley wins again.
Exercise Riley, exercising her side-eyes.
When she lights all those candles in her bathroom, do you think she considers that taking her work home with her?
JUST BUTTON ONE MORE BUTTON.
Pajama party.
Loretta Divine plays Riley's boss. Best madam ever!
But why does she insist on those smocks?
A sweater? What is happening to you, Riley?
That's more like it.
Just let the bottom of the shirt meet the top of the pants all the way around, and this is great.
Ah, yes, it's better with a blazer.