I Am the One Who Knock-Knocks: 15 Breaking Bad Knock-Knock Jokes

Walter White (Bryan Cranston) - Breaking Bad - Season 3, Episode 4. Photo: Ursula Coyote / AMC

The most literal and humorless but accurate answer to the classic joke setup, “Knock-knock/Who’s there?� is actually “the one who knocks.� So considering that “the one who knocks� is kind of Walter White’s catchphrase on Breaking Bad, it’s safe to assume that when he is not stressing out about a drug-dealing competitor or a death threat or cancer, knock-knock jokes are his favorite way to laugh and relax! So let’s get in the spirit with some of our own Breaking Bad knock-knock jokes. Sure to make you the life of the party! And if people don’t laugh, just poison them with an untraceable plant!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Champ.
Champ who?
Champ-who? No, thanks, don’t need it. I’m one of the show’s many bald characters.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Hank.
Hank who?
No, Hank you for having the courtesy to at least flush after learning your brother-in-law was Heisenberg.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Marie.
Marie who?
Marie-lly adorable baby tiara is gone. Did Skyler’s sister take it?

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting Hector Salamanca
Interrupt—
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding [explosion.]

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Pizza Deliveryman.
Just throw it on the roof.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Huell.
Huell who?
Huell get a bad back if you try to actually sleep on a bed of money.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo who?
Woo who! Science, bitch! 

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub, before the hydwofwuoric acid burns thwough and a gwoss mixture of guts and teeth wains through the ceiwing.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Turtlesgo.
Turtlesgo who?
No, owls go “who.� Turtles go BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Flynn.
Flynn who?
Fine, Walt Jr.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Gus.
Gus who?
Gus Who’s Albuquerque’s meth kingpin? That Pollos Hermanos dude!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Methhead.
Methhead who?
Methhead acting is the best way to get into character when the scene involves getting your head smashed in by an ATM.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Bitch.
Bitch who?
Bitch your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be meth.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Badger.
Badger who?
Badger bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be Star Trek scripts. 

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Mark Strong.
Mark Strong who?
Come on! The star of Low Winter Sun. You know, the show that plays right after Breaking Bad — why won’t you watch? I’m also bald!