A version of this article originally ran on September 5, 2014, during Vulture’s 1994–1995 TV week.
Few things conjure up as much nostalgic dread as the SATs, that high-school rite of passage involving a day spent furiously filling in ovals corresponding to questions that determined your very future. But what did all of those vexing analogies and Venn diagrams really test? Nothing we’ve ever used before or since, that’s what. If only the educational system would assess us based on things we think and talk about every day … like, say, our favorite television shows.
As part of our survey of the 1994–95 TV season, we did exactly that. Our Friends SAT exam tests your hard-earned knowledge of the NBC sitcom’s quotes, plotlines, and characters from the entire run of the series with 40 fun yet actually challenging questions broken into four sections — analogies, sentence completion, math, and reading comprehension. (Sound familiar?) Take the exam to see how you would have scored on the SATs if Vulture had been in charge of testing our nation’s youth when it really mattered. Ready? Pick up your virtual No. 2 pencil and let’s begin.
Section 1.Time – 5 minutes10 Questions
Questions 1–5 are based on the following passage.
The following passage is from an episode of Friends that aired November 9, 1995.
Ross enters Rachel and Monica’s apartment to find Rachel taking some pills for her hangover. “Oh, and how was the date?†Ross asks. “Um,†Rachel replies, “I think there was a restaurant, I know there was wine …†Ross says he’s there to pick up some cat toys and that his girlfriend is downstairs waiting for him — but he soon catches Rachel looking at him in a funny way. Rachel says that she thinks she had a dream about Ross the night before. A moment later, Ross asks if he can check his messages using Monica and Rachel’s cordless, explaining that he’d spent the previous night at his girlfriend’s and hadn’t been home yet. Rachel agrees, only to remember something very important just as Ross begins to play his first message and says that it’s from her.
Questions 6–10 are based on the following passage.
Excerpt from a real-life conversation…
Person A and Person B are trying to remember the sequence of events that led to Monica and Chandler's romantic involvement being discovered by the four other Friends. "Rachel found out first, then Joey," Person B insists.
"No way!" replies Person A. "Joey found out first, because then Rachel went to his apartment saying she had a secret to tell him. Remember, he sticks his fingers in his ears and goes, 'La-la-la'?"
"Oh, that's right," says Person B. "But wait, wasn't all of that after Phoebe had seen them through the window?"
Based on your score…