Woody Allenās Amazon show Crisis in Six Scenes debuts today, and it turns out that Allen was right to call the series a ācosmic embarrassmentā and ācatastrophic mistakeā and admit that heās āregretted every second since I said OKā to Amazon, because the critics hate the show arguably more than he does. Reviews call Crisis āboring,ā āclumsy,ā āhollow,ā and a āhefty disappointment,ā so if you were planning to check out the show, youāre probably better off skipping it and doing something much more entertaining instead: reading all the terrible reviews! Here are just a few excerpts from what the critics are saying about Crisis in Six Scenes this week:
Variety: āBut so much of the story relies on his charm. And it is hard to see the 80-year-old auteur as charming in the harsh light of the present. It would have been easier, probably, if there werenāt jokes about adopted daughters.ā
Time: āThe number of artists with meaningful things to say had gotten a fraction of the money Allen presumably had to work with. Instead, a name certain to get curious clicks was given free rein. And Allen, trading off that name, tossed off a poorly-paced, dated statement that the world is fine and would be finer if he could be left in peace. Perhaps, given the quality of the work, itās time to let him live out that dream.ā
Deadline: āWhen Crisis was formally announced, Allen said seemingly in jest that he thought Amazon brass might end up regretting giving him the dough and the opportunity. They should because he certainly took the money and ran here. To paraphrase a character in the series ā Allen really missed a beat here.ā
Entertainment Weekly: āAmazonās Crisis in Six Scenes, which stars Allen alongside Elaine May and Miley Cyrus, feels like a two-hour movie cut into six chunks, but one noticeably devoid of any formal innovation or insight.ā
Uproxx: āAfter slogging through all six episodes, I wonder: Does Amazon have any buyerās remorse? To be blunt, Crisis in Six Scenes is terrible. The writing is terrible, the direction is terrible, the acting is terrible, it looks terrible, and it will make you feel terrible. Unless you decide to bail after the first episode, at which point sweet relief might sweep over you.ā
The Boston Globe: āThe show is a waste of time, even by the lowered standards of Allenās post-Husbands and Wives work.ā
The Hollywood Reporter: āItās unlikely heād get much of whatever viewership materializes for Crisis in Six Scenes to come with him, since the first three half hours are a curiously plodding and frankly half-assed effort, the fourth episode has a minor spark of momentum and the last two episodes ā by far the best ā are sadly too little, too late.ā
Indiewire: āCrisis in Six Scenes wouldnāt have worked in any era ā not when we treated TV as the goofy kid brother to film, and especially not now when TV is challenging cinema on every level. We needed the best of Woody Allen; instead, we got an artistic crisis.ā
The New York Times: āWeāre in the midst of a revolution in American television comedy, and one important source for the dark humor and cinematic style of shows like Louie and Transparent is undoubtedly the films of Woody Allen. Itās especially disappointing, then, that Crisis in Six Scenes, Mr. Allenās first TV show, feels instantly forgettable.ā