Wow, and to think you were just about to go to the Alamo Drafthouse, get a primo seat for the latest big flick, and try to sign up for health insurance entirely over the phone. Your entire decision-making process has been thrown into question, now that the new Brooklyn Drafthouse has drafted the stars of your new favorite everything to remind you not to text or talk during the movie. Maybe Janeane Garofalo, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Dwayne Johnson, and everybody from Don’t Think Twice and High Maintenance are right: Maybe you are a little Spanish Inquisition waiting to happen. In that case, no phone for you. At least they didn’t mention a taboo against your other favorite moviegoing habit (drinking a large Icee during a terrible coughing fit) or else you would have just stayed home.
