Since Donald Trump became POTUS, there’s been a growing effort by some reporters and TV pundits to break down all the increasingly complicated and sometimes unconfirmed news of Trump and his administration’s corruption and ties to Russia in a way that the regular news consumer can understand. Some journalists have found that the most impactful way to do this has been through Twitter “mega-threads,†particularly thanks to Huffington Post columnist Seth Abramson’s threads on topics like the Steele dossier and The Mayflower Scandal, which have racked up tens of thousands of retweets.
It seemed like only a matter of time, then, until a comedy writer decided to put their own spin on the Trump conspiracy Twitter mega-thread, and that’s where Bob Powers – who wrote for Triumph’s Summer Election Special 2016 last year – stepped in last night, taking aim at the recent news that House Oversight Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz abruptly decided to not run for reelection in 2018 and might not even finish his current term in Congress. I don’t want to spoil anything, but I think it’s safe to say that this is the most powerful and important Twitter mega-thread ever written.
Enjoy:
[!!!THREAD!!!] Jason Chaffetz’s announcement proves that the dominoes are falling faster than anyone in the White House EVER EXPECTED (1) pic.twitter.com/PJ5aKjMHiK
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(2) To fully understand the ramifications of Chaffetz not seeking reelection you first have to understand his role in the government pic.twitter.com/ENM7jW5dvB — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(3) Jason Chaffetz is a congressman and one of the government’s number one police detectives. In Washington they call him “Captain Narc.†pic.twitter.com/2EtEo4LzeD
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(4) Jason Chaffetz once said “The only thing I ever want to do with my life is be reelected to Congress.†Which begs the question…. pic.twitter.com/MKOUq6q2QR — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(5) WHY STOP NOW? Why give up what he loves unless something’s pressuring him to give it up? WHATS PRESSURING JASON CHAFFETZ? [stillathread] pic.twitter.com/8f6xeJzwWG
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(6) An article I read once said some stuff that made Congressman Jason Chaffetz seem less than cool. Link to come. But it’s fucking damning. pic.twitter.com/S3oj4HoW1M — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(7) only tweet 7 but I wanna pause this thread to remind everyone that we lost someone pretty fucking talented when we lost Brittany Murphy pic.twitter.com/HR65U92Uht
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(8) Back to Chaffetz. He works in Washington DC, which is right near where Donlad Trump works 4 days a week. Here’s a map of the metro. pic.twitter.com/PJAhSMZ8zh — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(9) It’s said that Jason Chaffetz once told people at a party that he “wants to lie to the American people about what a president did wrong†pic.twitter.com/GcGdma4Hji
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(10) QUICK THREAD BREAK #2: Sorry, I know there’s a lot going on, but come on she was a fucking angel. https://t.co/B2rmKReipA — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(11) [CHAFFETZ THREAD BACK ON TRACK] Not everyone in the MSM is reporting this but Jason Chaffetz was at a hotel where some Russians were. pic.twitter.com/VXOrFpRtcL
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(12) Coincidence? No. Fuck you. So sick of you. He was there to kiss Russians because he loves Russian kisses. Look at his face it’s obvs pic.twitter.com/3uhF1W7mFe — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(13) [SMOKING GUN PART OF THREAD] Jason Chaffetz murdered Hillary Clinton. Yes THAT Hillary Clinton. MSM won’t report since shes still alive pic.twitter.com/dXg3OS0skg
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(14) But take the blinders off and you’ll know it’s true for no other reason than it’d be fun if it was. Now here she is in 8 Mile pic.twitter.com/8dlM8FFNEQ — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(15) Just got a lot of annoying fucking DMs. I KNOW that’s not Hillary in 8 Mile. Thread back dumbasses. We’re covering a lot of ground here pic.twitter.com/qBqwc1Xcck
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(16) Back to Jason Chaffetz, what a lot of people don’t know and what the MSM won’t cover is he is not a Senator but actually he’s (1/2) pic.twitter.com/lQ9SfiQvvU — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(17) a member of the House Of Representatives which is also a part of congress. SEEEEEE? pic.twitter.com/CBR3wE994r
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(18) SO HOW DOES THIS ADD UP? The key to all of this is a speech. A speech Jared Kushner gave to his bathroom mirror when he was scared once pic.twitter.com/zrshr3Uwtx — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(19) The speech wasn’t recorded, but a housekeeper who overheard it reports her recollection as follows: “I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M (1/4) pic.twitter.com/am72WiBzYO
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(20) SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL NOT LIKE DADDY SAID I’M SPECIAL I’M SMART I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I CAN DO JOBS I’M (2/4) pic.twitter.com/Ac93LxCwt1 — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(21) SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M GOOD AT WORK I’M SPECIAL I’M GOOD AT BRAINS I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M HANDSOME (3/4) pic.twitter.com/euwx8WyP2H
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(22) I’M SPECIAL I’M SPECIAL I’M STILL SO SAD WHY’D SHE HAVE TO DIE IT’S NOT FAIR AND SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE THE BLAME AND I KNOW JUST THE GUY pic.twitter.com/kLnEKU54is — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(23) Kushner blames Chaffetz for the death of Brittany Murphy and no matter how much evidence there is to prove him wrong he won’t let it go pic.twitter.com/6if67ENduT
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(24) If you thought you could blame the loss of such a wondrous creature on someone wouldn’t you do everything in your power to destroy him? pic.twitter.com/D1REN96Q48 — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(25) Jason Chaffetz is resigning because Jared Kushner is angry that he has to live in a wolrd without Brittany Murphy and he blame the Chaf pic.twitter.com/zDsgOFwrAO
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(26) When this all comes out this Tuesday it will be really bad and Donald Trump will be impeached for some reason you’re welcome [/THREAD] pic.twitter.com/F3j09dATB2 — Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017
(27) â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸ pic.twitter.com/zDknHs88Qr
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) April 21, 2017