YouTuber PewDiePie (a.k.a. Felix Kjellberg) has apologized for using the N-word during a livestream of himself playing PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds earlier this week, claiming, “I owe it to my audience and to myself to do better than this, because I know I’m better than this.†In his “My Response†video, posted to his account, PewDiePie says that he used the racist slur, because “in the heat of the moment, I said the worst word I could possibly think of, and it just sorta slipped out,†noting that he is “really sorry if I offended, hurt, or disappointed anyone with all this.†The apology comes as part of PewDiePie’s no-good-very-bad year of press, as he previously lost a deal with Disney’s Maker Studios this February over anti-Semitic comments made in his previous videos.