Book me this hotel. Hello, I’d like this new car. What’s happening on Arrested Development? How many of these mom texts have you woken up to recently? On Jimmy Kimmel Live, celebrities read texts from their moms — a cleaner, family-friendly version of “texts from last night.†Anna Faris got one from her mom, telling her she’s the greatest actress of her generation, but also congratulating Allison Janney on her Oscar. Will Forte got one from his mom, just a series of emoji. The best, however, comes from Ike Barinholtz’s mama: “I simply can’t believe Trump went through all this to keep Stormy Daniels quiet. He must have a very small peanut. Peanuts. Penis — sorry I hate this phone!†Same, Mrs. Barinholtz.