Beyoncé and Jay-Z just exercised their right to cancel everyone’s Saturday with a surprise joint album release. Everything Is Love is a nine-track celebration of their marriage (and maybe their rumored vow renewal). The album is a follow-up to their two individual “working through some stuff†albums, Lemonade and 4:44. You’ll be happy to know that it has definitely been worked through: The couple cement their status as the king and queen of basically all music, letting everyone from Spotify to the Grammys know that they remain unbothered. (Also, sorry to kill literally all your hopes and dreams, but you will never be Beyoncé’s friend, according to “Friends.â€) Bey, take it from here: “No need to ask, you heard about us.†See the best lyrics below:
“Apeshitâ€
Jay-Z: “I said no to the Super Bowl You need me / I don’t need youâ€
Jay-Z: “Tell the Grammy’s fuck that 0 for 8 shit Have you ever seen the crowd goin’ apeshitâ€
“Bossâ€
Beyoncé: “I got real problems just like youâ€
Jay-Z: “Niggas would rather work for the man than to work with me, just so they can pretend they on my levelâ€
Jay-Z: “To them invoices separate the men from the boys / Over here we measure success by how many people successful next to youâ€
Beyoncé: “My great-great-grandchildren already rich, that’s a lot of brown children on your Forbes listâ€
Beyoncé: “I be true balling on these bum whoresâ€
“Niceâ€
Beyoncé: “If I gave two fucks — two fucks about streaming numbers, would have put Lemonade up on Spotifyâ€
Beyoncé: “Fuck you fuck you you’re cool fuck you I’m outâ€
Beyoncé: “I ain’t never seen a ceiling in my whole lifeâ€
Beyoncé: “I’m so nice, Jesus Christ, I’m better than the hype, I give you life!â€
Beyoncé, Pharrell: “Me and Hova do it like rebels / Most of ya’ll just got pebblesâ€
“713â€
Jay-Z: “My little baby Blue is like ‘who gon’ stop us’â€
“Friendsâ€
Jay-Z: “When I say free the dogs they free ‘em, that’s how Meek got his freedomâ€
Beyoncé: “I don’t know what I would do without all of my crew, yeah I ain’t making no room, yeahâ€
Jay-Z: “I ain’t going to nobody for nothing when me and my wife beefing, I don’t care if the house on fire, I’m dying, nigga, I ain’t leavingâ€
Beyoncé: “Whenever I’m in need, they in the backseat with the aux bumping Beyâ€
“Heard About Usâ€
Beyoncé: “No need to ask, you heard about usâ€
Jay-Z: “It’s Beyoncé niggaâ€
Beyoncé: “We good, we good, keep us out ya mouthâ€
“Love Happyâ€
Beyoncé: “I give my daughter my custom dresses, she gonna be littyâ€
Beyoncé: “You fucked up the first stone, we had to get remarriedâ€
Beyoncé: “Hova, Beezus, watch the thrones!â€