SNL’s Donald Trump Is Thrilled at America’s Global Covfefe-19 Domination

Taking a break from pleading to open the economy for the sake of himself, Donald Trump, not unlike his weekly Fox & Friends calls, decided to dial in to SNL to give our hosts an update about the “covfefe-19� situation. And you know what? He’s pretty pleased with himself. Thanks for asking. “I’m very happy to report that America is now number one in the world with the coronavirus,� Trump explained. “Every night at 7 p.m., all of New York claps and cheers for the great job I’m doing.� Something he’s not thrilled about, though? The need to “tone down the ethnic slurs,� since he recently discovered that everything we need to survive the virus is made in China. “Some of the other names we workshopped were Chinese Flu, Hong Kong Flu-y, Crouching Tiger Hidden Symptoms, Wang Chung Lung, and General Tso’s Revenge,� he added. “Stephen Miller came up with Yellow Fever, but that’s already a thing when a white dude is horny for an Asian chick.�