If you can only work towards a goal while being mercilessly derided and condescended to, you should absolutely see a therapist. But since we live in America and that will probably take weeks, if not months, why not use that time to get absolutely shredded? Introducing Saturday Night Live’s take on the Peleton: Peletaunt, the exercise bike that encourages you to work out by psychologically breaking you down to the studs with gaslighting, passive aggression, and negative reinforcement. Oh, and, through stationary biking.
“No corny inspirational speeches here,†Cecily Strong’s voiceover promises. “Just withering judgement, sure to get your heart pumping and your brain thinking, ‘Am I bad?’†Thank god they didn’t invent this a year or so ago; the Peleton Wife went through enough as it is.