You could do worse than getting your news only from the “Drew’s News†segment of The Drew Barrymore Show. It’s certainly better than at least three news channels in your parents’ cable package. As a daytime-TV news-anchor cosplayer, Barrymore reports the facts and doesn’t let bias or kink-shaming get in the way of her rigorous journalism. Today, Barrymore summarized last week’s news that Machine Gun Kelly designed fiancée Megan Fox’s engagement ring himself and gave it “thorns.†“So if she tries to take it off, it hurts …†MGK told Vogue. “Love is pain.†Other pundits could have been scold-y, but Barrymore is just happy for those crazy kids. “That feels very in keeping with them,†she said like a cool aunt. “A little bit of torture, a little bit of mm-mm.â€
“What’s this couple gonna do next, Rossy? I’m here for this,†she said, throwing it over to Ross Mathews, whom she apparently shares joint custody of with RuPaul. He’s a bit more skeeved out by the concept of a thorny pain ring, but, she said, “That’s why there’s S and M.†In a genius bit of timing, the cameras cut to some very bewildered audience members in their 70s. “I’m less S&M and more M&M,†quipped Mathews. Doesn’t he know they’re one and the same?