ByRebecca Alter,
a staff writer who covers comedy and pop culture
Photo: 20th Century Studios
We’re not supposed to know this much about trade shows. Unless you’re a tech geek in a CES Discord server, us laymen generally leave trades to the tradesmen. But CinemaCon, which was originally meant primarily for theater owners, is now an unstoppable torrent of blockbuster-movie news updates from all the major studios, and us movie-caring-abouters just have to wade through it all, determining which announcements are actually interesting news (Bad Bunny as a Marvel superhero) and which are just franchises stalling. With one day left of CinemaCon 2022, we’ve gathered up some important movie announcements … with a catch. Most of them are just shit we made up. Are you a devoted enough fan to tell the real news from the decoys?
Can You Spot the Real CinemaCon News?
Find the real CinemaCon studio announcement among the fakers.
Srane! (This is Na’vi for “Yes!â€) It will be called Avatar: The Way of Water.
Kehe! (This is Na’vi for “No!â€) It will be called Avatar: The Way of Water.
You got the golden ticket! Timmy-Wonka hops down a pothole.
It’s chocolate [sad Drag Race trombone sound]. Timmy-Wonka hops down a pothole.
Ja! Robbie will star alongside Christian Bale and Taylor Swift in Amsterdam.
Nee (Dutch for “noâ€), Robbie will star alongside Christian Bale and Taylor Swift in Amsterdam.
Good work, commander. This isn’t Buzz Lightyear the toy. This is the origin story of the human Buzz Lightyear that the toy is based on.
Try again, Zurg. This isn’t Buzz Lightyear the toy. This is the origin story of the human Buzz Lightyear that the toy is based on.
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