We the people of Lil Nas X nation came to the Grammys for a family-friendly, gay lifestyle-promoting performance, and what did we see? An egregious display of straight masculinity from his “Industry Baby†collaborator Jack Harlow. And before 9:30 p.m., no less. The FCC should be expecting a flood of calls in the morning. Lil Nas X, Destiny’s Prodigy, delivered a Montero medley of “Dead Right Now,†“Montero (Call Me by Your Name),†and “Industry Baby,†complete with a marching-band aesthetic, outfit changes, and twerking. However, while he did execute an eight-count of choreography, Jack Harlow did not learn his lesson from the music video where he notably did not dance naked in a shower scene. During his canonically straight verse, Harlow swung his (innocent!) mic around, miming slapping a woman’s butt to the beat. We get it, overt phallic symbol — he’s straight. But when this song is playing, it’s simply polite to bend over and bust it open. Watch for yourself … unless you’re back in the office. Some things are only safe for work from home.