Imagine Bella Swan With Henry Cavill

What does this mean for Robert Pattinson’s The Batman? Photo: Getty Images, Summit Distribution

Bella Swan (as portrayed by Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen (portrayed by Henry Cavill), wearing a red cape, enter the woods behind Forks High School.

Bella Swan: You’re impossibly fast and strong …

Edward Cavillen: Well, I’m —

BS: [interjecting] Your skin is pale white and ice-cold. Your eyes change color. And sometimes you speak like you’re from a different time. You never eat or drink anything. You don’t go out in the sunlight …

EC: Say it.

[At the same time]

BS: A vampire!
EC: Superman!

Picture it: the awkward, campy exchange that could have been — mainly, Cavill saying, “Hold on tight, spidermonkey” — if Twilight author Stephenie Meyer got her wish for the “perfect Edward.” It’s not new news that Meyer wanted Cavill for the role, as she “mourned” the movie’s potential in a blog in 2017. But on a new episode of the Happy Sad Confused podcast, Cavill actually gave it the time of day (twilight joke).

“I didn’t know about the movie,” Cavill said, if 2008-you can believe it. “I didn’t know about them wanting to cast me. And the internet wasn’t quite at all what it is now. I only found out afterwards, and I was like, ‘Oh, that would’ve been cool.’” So, what would have happened if Cavill’s “cool” arrived in the nick of time back, interfering with the trajectory of the TCU? Taylor Lautner might have never said, “Bella, where the hell have you been, loca?”, Totino’s pizza rolls almost weren’t gay, and Liam Hemsworth most likely wouldn’t be starring in season four of The Witcher. Is … is that the good timeline?