Oh, there is nothing like New York in the spring summer! It’s a time of year that just makes you want to get indoors, in front of your AC unit, to watch your favorite Max Original, And Just Like That. The “new chapter of Sex and the City†has finally given us a premiere date: June 22, fittingly the night before Horse Meat Disco. AJLT and Pride aligning just makes sense, as does its release date making it a true Gemini-Cancer cusp. Geminis are witty, curious, and inquisitive. They literally can’t help but wonder. And Cancers are the most emotional sign of them all. What else can we learn from this poster? A lot, actually.
Doing a new-season promo poster in the style of The Last Supper is about as groundbreaking as florals for spring (which this poster also has). Battlestar Galactica did it. The Sopranos did it. Lost did it. Vikings and House and Billions did it. However cliché, it works in this context because these are characters who would overanalyze the table settings at a dinner party, and laying out a poster like this invites viewers to go full Dan Brown. In this instance, Carrie is obviously Jesus because of her central placement, because of her flowing locks, and because of the logline: “New beginnings are in season.†Do you know who else had a new beginning? Christ.
Carrie is flanked to the left and right (from our POV) by Miranda and Charlotte, respectively. That left position in The Last Supper is held for the Apostle John. John was the youngest of the apostles, which suggests that Miranda is continuing her “second adolescence†phase this season. He’s pictured swooning in the painting, and Miranda did nothing but swoon last season. And, crucially, The Da Vinci Code is all about how the figure to the left of Jesus in the painting is actually Mary Magdalene. Maybe it means Miranda will continue to explore gender and sexuality this season … or maybe it means Miranda’s cheating on Steve (unpictured) makes her a, you know, practitioner of the oldest profession.
Charlotte holds the seat of Saint James the Greater, who in The Last Supper is making a sort of “come at me, bro†gesture. James was the first apostle to be martyred, which means Charlotte will probably have a martyr complex this season over barely tolerating her teen children.
Che Diaz is the Peter of this arrangement, with their hand on Miranda’s back and a glass of vino in lieu of Peter’s knife. The dagger in the original is meant to symbolize that Peter is like a warrior for Christ or something like that. The takeaway here is that Che is gonna fight for Rambo.
That puts Dr. Nya Wallace in the Judas seat, catching Judas heat. This isn’t entirely fair to the character, but maybe this placement symbolizes how fans felt betrayed by Miranda’s cringe plotlines and heel turns last season. The whole Columbia plot was sort of the instigating instance of that. Or this means that Nya will be a whistleblower against Carrie this season, leading to her being publicly canceled.
The husbands and Lisa Todd Wexley have been shunted off to the side. Moving on.
Seema and Anthony are in the Thomas and Philip slots. In The Last Supper, Thomas is making a Karen face and pointing a finger at everyone. We also know that Thomas was a skeptic. These two details combined mean that Seema will be the standout of the season in terms of sassy one-liners. Bible scholars think Philip was a fisherman, so my prediction is Anthony catfishes people this season.
Then we’ve got the kids’ table at the end. Lots of family-friend-cest vibes going on between Charlotte’s daughter and Miranda’s son. Also: Rock got a seat by the bagels and lox. Strategic mastermind.
Unpictured but implied: God, a.k.a. Samantha Jones.
All in all, this is clearly going to be a season of biblical proportions. Hopefully the “last†supper of it all doesn’t mean this is the end. This looks more like a brunch, anyway.