This post contains spoilers for The Idol episode two, “Double Fantasy.â€
A veil of secrecy has been shading The Idol, the new HBO jawn from Sam Levinson. The show has been mired in controversy, with accusations of exploitation and “sexual torture porn†coming from its production. The show premiered at Cannes last month to a standard-issue five-minute standing ovation and mixed reviews. Many questions have surrounded The Idol, mostly centering on what this show is even about. Tonight we learned that The Idol is about remaking All About Eve, foot pain, shock collars, and, most of all, smoking (cig count: four). But more questions arose as the show went on. Questions such as:
âž½ Does the Weeknd know who Billie Piper is?
➽ Leia had to turn off capitalization on Jocelyn’s phone, didn’t she?
âž½ Jocelyn dancing along to her remix; is this MGK-coded?
➽ Is Tedros a literal vampire? Can he not answer the phone during the day because that’s when he’s honk-shoo-honk-shoo in his coffin?
➽ Who are Jocelyn’s fans? Here are some things we’ve heard about them: They don’t understand irony, they’re tweens, they’re sex-negative (no cum shots allowed). But then the visual language of her video is very adult gay (ironic strip-club vibes, bustier with a jockstrap booty, kneepads on “gay-seeming†strippers).
âž½ What kind of two-bit operation has no cameras shooting coverage on their music video?
➽ Are those puppets (do you get the metaphor???) in Tedros’s club from Los Angeles institution the Bob Baker Marionette Theater?
➽ Speaking of the club, do I spy Bootsy Bellows? David Arquette is a partner in that place. And he works with Bob Baker. And he recently purchased the rights to Bozo the Clown. It’s all coming together …
➽ The actors playing Tedros’s cult members — what Manson theories do they subscribe to? Have they read Chaos?
➽ Did Chloe give herself a blowout after swimming in one of Jocelyn’s two (2) pools? [Two scenes later] Never mind, her hair is messy again!
➽ Did you know Max (née HBO) has a mute function? So you don’t have to listen to Abel “the Weeknd†Tesfaye’s erotic ASMR.
➽ When Chloe was watching Tedros and Jocelyn, did anyone else immediately think of that one tweet liked by Ted Cruz’s Twitter account? If you answered no, follow-up question: Why are you lying?