Season five of What We Do in the Shadows is imminent, which is excellent news for those of us whose safe space is a house full of stupid, horny vampires. A new trailer provides us with a fire hose of teasers but not before reassuring us that Guillermo is finally — after more than a decade of service — becoming a vampire. Kinda. At least, the season-four finale ended with the beleaguered familiar bribing his friend Derek to turn him into one, but whether it’ll take remains to be seen. He can’t even turn into a bat! According to a press release from FX, “Nandor feels his familiar (and sometimes friend) Guillermo slipping away as he seems to be spending much more time with Laszlo (Matt Berry), whose skills as a gentleman scientist are put to the test as he tries to solve the mystery of the strange and very secret changes Guillermo is going through.†We should’ve seen this coming, honestly. Things rarely work out for this dude, and he’s full of Van Helsing blood to boot. Otherwise, season five looks to be giving us lots of exactly what we love to see on this show: dum-dums who exist outside of time interacting with our modern world. Colin Robinson is living his best life running for comptroller. Nadja is waitressing, reading the news in a blonde wig (!), and trying to get someone to have sex with her ghost. And Laszlo and Nandor are seen visiting an actual mall. Those fucking guys! The new season premieres on Thursday, July 13, on FX and Hulu.
Guillermo’s Vampire Transformation Sucks
