Are These Cast Facts from The Golden Bachelor or Next?

Photo: MTV

ABC released the cast bios for the inaugural season of The Golden Bachelor, and hoo doggy! These ladies are fascinating. Besides having the mother of former Bachelor Matt James, there’s a woman who dives (cageless) with sharks, a woman “OBSESSED” with Christmas, and someone who “loves a good dude ranch.” Summarizing your whole entire deal on a dating site is tough. Any isolated “fun fact” about yourself has the potential to warp reality around it, like a bowling ball thrown into a pool of jello. You’re not a woman who raised a family, vacations in Aspen, and loves holiday traditions. You’re the Golden Bachelor contestant who’s OBSESSED with Christmas. Not since MTV’s Next have surface judgements been made so quickly, and with such weird information. So we’ve devised a little test. Which tidbit below is about an 18-year-old trying to smang in 2004, and which is about a sexy single septuagenarian looking for a pickleball doubles partner?