First things first: Dad’s coming home! That’s the big news in late night this week. Last week, The Daily Show made a preannouncement that a capital-A Announcement would be coming this week. You know who else was coming? A bunch of elder millennials when they heard Jon Stewart would be back on The Daily Show. On Mondays. Call it The Monday Show?
Secondly, let’s take a moment to celebrate a late-night anecdote that escaped into gen pop. On Monday’s Late Night With Seth Meyers, Tom Hollander said that he got Tom Holland’s first bonus for being in an Avengers movie. It was seven figures, and it was demoralizing enough to Hollander that he switched agencies soon after. The story went way further than most late-night clips, getting aggregated by entertainment news sites and quote-tweeted aplenty. It’s fitting that Hollander told the story while plugging his portrayal of Truman Capote, a man who in later years was more well known for his Tonight Show appearances than for his actual work.
But that wasn’t the only intriguing anecdote on late night this week. On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Oliver Hudson said his stepdad Kurt Russell once beat up Manson follower Tex Watson? And Kimmel had no follow-up questions? We’ll have to wait for Quentin Tarantino to guest-host Kimmel to get the end of that story, I guess. Who else moved the late-night conversation forward this week? Read on to find out.
5. Dakota Johnson Crying Supercut
Dakota Johnson gets teary every time she’s on The Tonight Show, and that’s only like the third-weirdest thing about her. This clip is uncanny. Johnson cries. She pretends to fall asleep. She explains that Madame Web takes place in 2003. She advocates for sleep like she’s Arianna Huffington. Jimmy Fallon keeps saying deprecating things like that he’s never worked a day in his life. He keeps calling Madame Web a Marvel movie even though it’s Sony, which is still kind of different from the MCU. What’s going on? I could watch this for hours on a loop, like it was video art.
4. Colbert’s Twilight Zone Twists
Movie stars always talk about “one for them, one for me.†This sketch feels like one for Stephen Colbert. Why a Twilight Zone sketch? Probably because the marathon was on Syfy over New Year’s, and someone (Brian Stack?) got inspired. Real Hot Rods (the fandom name for Rod Serling I just made up) will recognize that some of these twists are inspired by real episodes. The martian reveal in the diner? Really happened, and it was just as left field and off-putting then too.
3. Sarah Paulson Is a RHOSLC Punk
The stars really are just like us. Sarah Paulson, like all right-thinking Americans, has been transfixed by this season of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. And she name-dropped two cast members (Heather Gay and Meredith Marks) on her latest appearance on Late Night With Seth Meyers. It’s fine when celebs talk about the thing they’re supposed to be plugging on a talk show, but when they share their passions, it’s electric.
2. Lisa Ann Walter Serves (Meatballs)
Finally, some good fucking food! Lisa Ann Walter served an array of cooked meats to Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo, right after winning Celebrity Jeopardy! She won $1 million for the Entertainment Community Fund, which rocks (1) because they do good work, and (2) because it’s Jeopardy giving the payout to a union-affiliated org. Walter also talked about what she’s looking for in a man (a big boy with an appetite), while also letting it be known that she’s checking her DMs. Shoot your shot, fellas.
1. After Midnight Finds Its Purpose
@midnight served a very specific purpose: to let people in flyover states know when mid-level comedians were coming to their city. This is an invaluable public service. Like RuPaul’s Drag Race, @midnight served to up booking fees for the performers featured and give them a credit for the marquee. This After Midnight clip does exactly what it’s supposed to: It highlights what each comedian does and why you’d want to check them out when they’re touring. Guy Branum is a rapier wit, Lisa Gilroy is an improv beast, and Marcella Arguello is always the coolest person in the room. You get their deal, you follow their social medias, and then when they come to town, you show up. America needs this JV squad for fame, or else we just get algorithmically determined freaks who aren’t actually good at their purported jobs. Let the funny people be on TV!
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