Reluctant weddings are nothing new to the 90 Day franchise, but they usually come with some sort of drama. “To Have and To Scold” is perhaps the most boring happy ending to a season we’ve ever seen on this show. With some couples getting married last week, we were left with the weddings of Shaeeda and Bilal, Kobe and Emily, Jibri and Miona, and Thais and Patrick, none of whom have enough drama to carry a season finale. Plus, there isn’t a single couple to root for in the bunch! The 90 Day franchise deserves credit for focusing less on the sensational and exploitative, but that didn’t need to lead to such a boring endgame.
Kobe and Emily make up after their last fight when Emily realizes she’s being absolutely ridiculous. Kobe sacrificed a lot to move to America, and living in Emily’s dad’s basement isn’t a come-up for him. Emily seemed to realize Kobe really wouldn’t marry her if she kept up this self-entitled hypocrisy. Still, when you look at how torn up Kobe was over lying to Emily’s parents, it’s hard to say she deserves someone so sweet! Kobe clearly values his father-in-law, and Emily barely sees Kobe as a respected member of the family. It also feels like Emily had Kobe announce the pregnancy because she still wasn’t ready to be an adult about it. If these two make it long term, it’ll be because of Kobe.
Thais and Patrick are another couple that don’t seem equally invested. After one more desperate plea for Thais’s dad’s blessing, the best they manage to get is “I hope you prove me wrong.” And even though Thais’s friends also said they wouldn’t get married without their fathers’ approval, Thais goes through with it. It seemed like she realized things have simply moved too fast and she can’t walk away now. Patrick doesn’t become less controlling. He still hasn’t budged on John moving out. Thais didn’t get any of the changes she wanted from Patrick but marries him anyway because she can’t postpone things. Maybe it’s love, or maybe she’s just going along with the ride until she wants to go back home. At least Patrick will always have John to get him through whatever Thais does to him.
And, well, the other couples this episode? The boring people we always knew were in love? Jibri and Miona have the ceremony they wanted, even if his parents did show up. I think Jibri’s parents thought that would stop them, but it’s just pushing Jibri and Miona closer. I don’t really understand why they put together a Joshua Tree wedding and didn’t drive a few more hours to the ocean for the beach wedding Miona kept begging for, but in the end, they got their arch, they had one close friend there, and we got to hear another song by Jibri. It’s the moment when Jibri sees Miona in her wedding dress that seals the deal on this couple, though. Yes, they were probably just on the show to promote Jibri’s band and Miona’s Instagram, but Jibri really does get lost in her eyes! I’ve never understood the doubt around this relationship, and their wedding only confirms that they’re the real deal.
Finally, there are Bilal and Shaeeda, who really do have a perfect wedding. Even though I still think Bilal is manipulative and condescending, Shaeeda is truly his equal. She can put up with his mess, and she isn’t afraid to call him out when he’s wrong. The producers try to make drama out of their officiant asking if they want to get married three times, but it’s just tradition! At no point did it feel like either of them would say no. Bilal is even kind of funny and cute with that final “I do!” These two seem destined for disaster after Bilal’s tricks, and I worried the final gift he gave her might be another prank, but it was touching and sentimental.
Even though this season came in for a fairly smooth landing, it was refreshing to have a new cast of couples. There were no Michael-and-Angela-level antics, but the drama we did get was clearly focused on setting up a few of these couples for long-term franchise involvement. None of these couples are so annoying that I mind that (although Jibri and Miona are so clearly there to promote themselves, they’ll only be more boring if they stick around). Every variation of 90 Day needs some stable couples, and this season the producers clearly wanted to move on from the drama of The Other Way or Before the 90 Days. Were they successful? Yes! Did I want a little less compromise and a few more massive life mistakes this season? Of course! This is 90 Day Fiancé! We’re here for the trash!
90 Day Notes
• Well, Miona asked for a beach and got a desert. I think she’s now ready for a lifetime of compromises.
• I’d like to see Kobe and Emily, Ari and Bini, and Yve and Mohamed on Happily Ever After. Mostly because I don’t think any of them will actually be happy ever after. Also, I’d be glad to see more of Patrick and Thais if it means we get more of John.
• I think Patrick and Thais’s dad would get along better if Thais hadn’t lied for so long!
• I feel like Igor left his house late getting that arch!
• Patrick learning the dance for Thais was so cute, and John making fun of him for it was even better. “Dude, it’ll look better when I’m in a suit!” “I don’t think so!” In my heart, Patrick and John win Couple of the Season.
• Shaeeda and Bilal really did have the most beautiful wedding we’ve ever seen on the show. Shaeeda looked gorgeous!
• Bilal’s son was so real for falling asleep during the wedding. Fair!
• The producers definitely told Kobe to play up the conversation with Emily’s dad to look like he’d tell the secret, right?
• I think Emily’s parents like Kobe more than they like Emily. I think they like Kobe more than Emily likes Kobe. They like him even though he said he “knocked off” their daughter in China.
• This recap could’ve been entirely about the outfit Thais and Patrick’s officiant wore, but I decided against that.
• And that’s another season of 90 Day Fiancé! Maybe the two-part tell-all will have the drama this season lacked.