When Siegfried plays “In the Bleak Midwinter,†I was like, this hits a little too close to home in February, the bleakest of months. Remember when it was cold but also fun? Then we hit January, and it’s the long slog to warmer weather, and if you keep your festive tree up for two more months, it’s “embarrassing,†according to my wife. This makes our Christmas episode all the more welcome.
I appreciate that this Christmas special moves the characters along pretty significantly! I’m used to the Doctor Who ones where the Doctor has to battle sentient Christmas trees, and then it’s never spoken of again. This is, instead, a very nice bridge between seasons. Helen is about to give birth, James is in Royal Air Force training miles away, and Richard is trying to deal with his shame over loving Christmas despite his atheist upbringing. It’s okay, Richard. It’s got a lot of lights and presents and cozy sweaters. It’s easy to get pulled in.
This episode is entitled “On a Wing and a Prayer,†which is both a reference to James’s time in the RAF and to its bird mascot, whose wing he’s ordered to fix. It’s also a song featured on “Songs That Got Us Through WWII,†an album my mother constantly played in our kitchen when I was growing up. It’s a weirdly upbeat tune about a bomber crew flying back from their mission, down one motor, and really hoping they make it home. Damn, 1940s.
We begin, sadly enough, learning that a bomber on a training mission didn’t make it back, and James knew a member of the crew. This adds to his distraction, which is pretty high already because it’s Christmas, and he’s going to see a very pregnant Helen. Only he’s not because the weather forecast is bad, and Siegfried and Mrs. Hall are concerned about Helen driving that far with the twinges she has been having lately. As well they should be! There are no cell phones! And while the cars are very charming, they’re not built for all-weather driving. When James calls Skeldale to talk to Helen, Siegfried picks up the extension to voice his concerns, which Helen hates but I love. Look, Siegfried isn’t always the best with boundaries, but only because he is sometimes an oblivious idiot. Helen deals with this by threatening him, which is probably the best way to handle Siegfried in moments like this.
James is crestfallen not to see Helen, but he’s got the bird mascot, Georgie, to fix. An officer whose name I’m not sure how to spell (Widdam? Widham?) and therefore will call “Mustache†tells James that the other airmen need Georgie’s wing fixed so she can fly again. They think it’s a bad omen if she’s stuck on her perch with a broken wing. Georgie has to be ready by Boxing Day (the day after Christmas) for unspecified reasons. Mustache is very insistent on this. THE MEN NEED HER. James doesn’t care about the omen bird; he wants to go home to see Helen. Mustache asks James if he’s planning on birthing the baby himself, and if not, to shut the fuck up and do some bird medicine. James responds by sneaking off the base like he’s in the 1981 film Stripes starring Harold Ramis. As someone whose biggest fear is to Be in Trouble, I view this move with total shock.
After getting off the base by jumping in the back of a truck, James hitchhikes most of the way home and gets picked up by a farmer out looking for his daughter’s cat. I don’t know how James doesn’t immediately think the cat could be Oscar. I guess he has other things on his mind, what with training for highly dangerous bombing missions, and his wife is about to give birth (and it’s Christmas). Seems pretty obvious it could be Oscar, even though it hilariously ends up not being him. How many cats are out running around the Dales? Although I guess if there’s one thing cats do, it’s make lots more cats. (Also, sleep.)
When James is only one mile from Darrowby, Mustache picks him up and brings him back to the base. Fix that bird, he says. James admits he knew one of the men who died in the training mission and that it’s bothering him because that man also had a wife and child. Mustache says he has eight-month-old twins whom he’s only seen twice. Yeah, JAMES (JK, war is terrible and there are no winners here). Mustache emphasizes that James needs to be focused on missions so that he and the rest of his crew know they can trust each other to do their jobs. James decides to pay attention to the bird, who’s been waiting patiently this whole time.
At Skeldale, Helen keeps having cramps and then deciding it’s fine (it is not). Richard and Siegfried are not being helpful by talking about how animals are better at having babies. It’s true, though! And immensely unfair. Why can’t we just be like giraffes and drop a baby outta us and go on with our day, albeit now with a large giraffe baby? A baby who can immediately walk. New human babies? Useless. Can’t do anything. (They’re pretty cute, though.) But Helen hates all this and silences them with a very powerful stare. She’s got things to do, like carve a Cailleach Nollich. Remember that? It’s when James carved a face into a stick and put it in the fire for Christmas. I am very delighted by traditions like this, like when I have to explain how my siblings and I would have to leave carrots in our shoes by the door for St. Nicholas’s horse. Does it make any sense? No! But it’s weird and fun.
Due to a community Christmas lunch, Richard and Siegfried have to go pick up a goose. On this goose mission, Richard gets bitten on the butt by a dog. I know butt things are traditionally hilarious, but dog bites are serious and I was very worried about him! Richard is fine, and Mrs. Hall accidentally sees his butt while Siegfried is treating the wound, and the main outcome is that he’s pretty sore whenever he sits down. This is balanced, however, by Richard receiving his first Christmas present, courtesy of Mrs. Hall (of course). She gets him a bowtie because she noticed he likes them. Richard is touched.
Everyone reacts pretty calmly when Helen goes into labor. The bad weather has arrived, of course, so they’re not sure if a midwife can get there in time. Siegfried offers to deliver the baby if needed, and he says most of the animals he’s delivered have had four legs instead of two, so this should be easier. Richard offers the fact-check that this baby will have arms. “Ah yes, good point; I hadn’t thought of that.†They both get thrown out of the house.
At the Christmas lunch, Siegfried toasts the absent but “remarkable Mrs. Hall†and then adds in, “I suppose, Jesus too,†when Richard interjects. Siegfried tells Richard he can move into Tristan’s old room at the practice. Richard is part of the family now! (And is also obligated to answer night calls.) Richard gets slightly drunk, thanks Mrs. Hall for his first Christmas present, and then tipsily hugs her. Siegfried and Mrs. Hall then have SUCH A CUTE SCENE where he tells Mrs. Hall that she really is remarkable (because he loves her) and then tries to hand her her wedding ring that she forgot next to the kitchen sink. She tells Siegfried she didn’t forget it. Wow, this is the slowest burn of all time. Fool that I am, I thought they would get together at the end of season two. Here we are wrapping up season four, and all the pieces continue to leisurely drift into place. Mrs. Hall had her first relationship after her husband; she’s officially divorced; Siegfried has tried dating again. THEY’RE BOTH READY NOW.
James fixes Georgie the bird with a toothpick because, apparently, you can pull out a bird’s feather and then just poke it back in? Or at least you can with kestrels? Don’t try this. And definitely don’t shove toothpicks into birds. It works for James, however, and Georgie flies. Mustache is so moved that he gives James two days’ leave. James arrives back in Darrowby and runs through the town square shouting Merry Christmas, then dashes up the stairs of the practice to find Helen. Helen, who has had a baby. It’s a boy, and James says he’s funny-looking, even though he just looks like a baby. Congrats to James and Helen!
When everyone is sitting in the parlor in front of the fire, James (finally!) realizes Oscar might be the cat that was missing. The farmer comes by, and he’s not, but James foists Oscar off on the farmer and his daughter anyway. They do a hand-off while James and Helen hold their baby outside in the snow, causing me, a terrified 21st-century mom, to panic. He doesn’t even have a real hat on, you two! We end with the family all together, except for Tristan. Will he ever return? I have no idea. Thanks to this show for another cozy and lovely season.