Just in time for the bleak midwinter, we are blessed with a new season of All Creatures. Hail to thee, cozy and comfortable show, replete with sweater vests and duck races! Although we’re somewhat lacking on the sweater-vest front now that Tristan’s away at war. I’d like to make a controversial yet brave statement and say booooooo war.
I had absolutely no memory of what happened to anyone last season, but basically, everyone is still at the practice except for Tristan; James and Helen are still married, obviously; Mrs. Hall is still seeing Gerald. GERALD. Why does true love, i.e., Siegfried and Mrs. Hall’s undying romance, never run smoothly? This is butts. And you might say, Oh, just sit and be patient, but the planet is in crisis, people are at war, and I need older people in 1930s cozy fiction to say they love each other NOW.
On to the main action! It’s Easter in Yorkshire, and James is having an idyllic drive through the picturesque hills when he almost hits a child with his car. Said child then eggs James’s car. It’s pretty funny. We will meet this troubled youth again! And his dog, who looks like a whippet, but we later learn it’s a mixed breed, so maybe part whippet.
Siegfried has given up tobacco for Lent, so he’s grumpy about it, but is he really grumpy about Tristan being gone? (He is grumpy about both.) Mrs. Hall is seeking a divorce after not seeing her husband for years and years. Does this mean we have to call her something else? Do I have to call her Audrey? That feels so disrespectful! I’m not doing this until the divorce is finalized. Helen ordered too much gauze, and Siegfried needs to talk to a man about a sheep.
Helen deals with Siegfried’s grumpiness with a pretty great attitude. Maybe it’s because she’s so warm in her wool sweater and her hair is so well contained in her snood. SNOODWATCH 2024. I love a snood. Mainly because of the name. If it was called a net-based hair container? Not as into it. Anyway, Helen is very confident she has this veterinary-assistant job in hand until she pulls a season-four Amy from Superstore and orders six dozen boxes of gauze instead of six dozen rolls, which she, James, and Mrs. Hall then hilariously hide all over the practice.
Oh my God, before we move, we have to talk about how we had a shirtless James in this episode. All Creatures is getting RACY in season four! Ladies and some gentlemen, do we like Shirtless James? I don’t know how to feel about this.
On a much more emotionally complicated note (or maybe not; I don’t know your Shirtless James feelings), Mrs. Hall is trying to un–Mrs. Hall herself. She travels to the courthouse, evidently thinking she could just tell a clerk she wanted a divorce, and he’d go, “WELL, sounds good, here’s your divorce.†And why can’t it work that way? The clerk is very rude to her about this and tells her she has to submit a statement with her private business and any supporting documents, like letters. Mrs. Hall is so private! This is horrifying for her!
Siegfried finds out she’s working on her divorce papers back at the practice, and he is surprised. Surprised because he says he hasn’t considered her intentions before now. Mrs. Hall confusedly says, “Gerald?†YES, BECAUSE SIEGFRIED LOVES YOU, MRS. HALL. We got a minimum of two nods to that this week. Maybe three. Earlier, James says Mrs. Hall might be out with Gerald and Siegfried looks at him. In like a — like a way. Look, you just have to trust me that they’re in love and will eventually wed. Siegfried tells her that no one will judge her, but if they do, so bloody what? Mrs. Hall mails in her divorce papers because she is moving on with her life and we are all very proud of her. You deserve everything, Mrs. Hall.
Siegfried grumpily goes to a farm somewhere … snowy. I maybe missed the discussion of why it’s snowy there but not anywhere else in Darbyshire. It’s further north? It’s in the hills? Whatever, it’s fine; it’s just snowy there. He assists in the birth of a lamb whose mother rejects it, which is exactly the kind of stab in the heart I expect from this particular cozy show. Siegfried, however, is a brilliant vet man and he and the farmer build a “bonding pen,†which is basically just a teeny pen so the ewe has no choice but to hang out with her rejected offspring. This might sound dicey, but it works, much like in TV shows when characters get trapped together in an elevator. In the midst of this, we learn that the farmer is alone. Well. Siegfried asks about the farmer’s wife, and the farmer is awkward about it. When Siegfried asks Helen if anything is up with that relationship, she says uh, his wife died last month. Yeah, SIEGFRIED. So the farmer is handling the sad sheep experience on his own. Who could possibly help him?
Enter young Wesley Binks! I’m so bummed his name isn’t spelled Binx so I can make all my Thackery Binx references (those references are: “haha hey guys — guys — Binx like Thackery Binxâ€). Binks is the one who egged James’s car. He also punches him right in the nose when James tries to look at Wesley’s sick dog. Wesley is a Troubled Youth. The children have a wooden-duck race in the river and Wesley throws rocks at the ducks. “Stay away from me and stay away from my dog!†he shouts at James, post–nose punching.
Unfortunately, James thinks Wesley’s dog Duke has “distemper,†a disease that I thought was old-timey based on the name, but it is not! It’s current and also really serious! James finds out where Wesley lives and goes to visit him. There’s a lot of mud and shouting in the area, which are clues that Wesley maybe has a tough time in life, and there are reasons why he punches veterinarians in the nose. James tells Wesley that his dog likely has distemper, and Wesley tells James he’s talking shite and slams the door in his face. All of these things happening to James are probably not funny to him in the moment, but they are enjoyable to me, the viewer.
So James calls the RSPCA because Duke needs to be treated (distemper is infectious and airborne!), but then he visits Wesley’s home again and finds out Wesley gives Duke his own food and James is conscience-stricken. I don’t fully disagree with him calling the RSPCA, but also, c’mon, man. So James convinces the RSPCA to leave and convinces Wesley he only wants to help Duke. Wesley brings Duke to the practice to get taken care of, and he demands to pay for Duke’s medicine. James has him muck out the cages in the animal shed, and when Wesley does a good job and is interested in the work, Siegfried has an idea. It is what one might call a kismettian moment, and Wesley goes to work at the snowy farm with the sheep problem.
Literally everything works out! Siegfried finds out about the never-ending supply of gauze, and in return, Helen tells him where she hid his tobacco. Mrs. Hall goes to church with Gerald, but he doesn’t matter because she and Siegfried are still on the path to getting married someday. Get outta here, Gerald. Siegfried is finally going to write to Tristan, and James feels good about helping Wesley. I love you, show.