The Oscar-nominated Anatomy of a Fall (competing Sunday for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Best Film Editing, and Best Actress for Sandra Hüller) follows a murder trial, determining whether Sandra Voyter (Hüller) murdered her husband, who fell to his death from a high window at the family’s ski chalet in France. Did she push him, did he commit suicide, or did he simply fall while doing repairs? It’s a thinker of a flick. Had me Googling things like “French court hearsay fine?†and “HIPAA France can therapists testify?†The film hangs on the unknowability of the the truth. There is never a clear explanation, and the characters have to find their own peace without the closure that answers provide.
Well, screw that. Using the state-of-the-art crime-solving software The Sims 4, I came to a definitive conclusion as to whether Sandra killed Samuel Maleski, whether he took his own life, or whether it was all a horrible accident.
I can hear the haters now. “The movie is supposed to be ambiguous!†they say. “Assigning a fixed meaning to its ending is betraying the filmmakers’ intentions!†To which I say, “Shut up.†That ambiguïté shit might fly in France, but this is America. We lock criminals up here, and if we don’t have enough evidence to do so, we make it up.
I created a ski chalet inspired by the one in the film, and made Sims to match the Maleski family. Including Snoop (played in the movie by Messi, the best dog actor since Moose a.k.a. Eddie on Frasier), thanks to the Cats & Dogs expansion pack. You give Sims traits that impact gameplay, so I made Sandra ambitious, an overachiever, and commitment-phobic. Sam was gloomy, jealous, and a perfectionist. Kids only get one trait, so Daniel simply loves dogs. You can also give Sims likes and dislikes. Sandra likes writing, and Samuel loves Carnaval beats music (the closest in-game music to a steel-drum cover of 50 Cent’s “P.I.M.P.â€). Finally, I added mods to the game. EA took some of the rougher aspects of life out of its life simulator so that the game can be rated T for Teen. So I had to use Sacrificial Mods’ “Extreme Violence Mod,†which allows characters to kill each other or themselves in many different ways.
With all the pieces in place, it was time to run the scenarios. I decided to see which outcome was the easiest to make happen in the game, and therefore determining what really happened in the chalet. Surely this method can’t be worse than the trial we saw in the movie.
1: Murder, She Wrote?
In order to get Sandra to off Samuel, we had to re-create the circumstances of their marriage. “Accidentally blinding your child†isn’t one of the things the Extreme Violence mod can do, but we could at least replicate the professional and romantic jealousy in their relationship. Both Sims have the Bestselling Author aspiration, but I only let Sandra work toward that goal. She can write anywhere, after all. Sandra immediately got started on a novel, while Samuel discovered that he hates cooking. I would make him cook almost all of the family’s meals and shoulder most of the dog care.
Next, it was time to get Sandra cheating. The prosecutors in Fall made a lot of noise about Sandra’s bisexuality, so I made her almost exclusively hit on female Sims. (More on the exception to that rule later.) But hooking up Sims is harder than it used to be. The game has introduced sexual preferences, which means NPCs are no longer bisexual by default. Is that truly progress? I don’t think so. When the family went to the beach, Sandra struck out repeatedly. Was it because her flirting took place during Talk Like a Pirate Day, thus significantly diminishing her rizz? Perhaps.
Eventually, a woman fell for her charms. But then the problem became getting Samuel to notice he was getting cucked. The man missed his wife’s first kiss with her sidepiece because he was — I kid you not — listening to Carnaval beats.
I resorted to having Sandra and her lady “woo-hoo†(Sims-speak for “sexâ€) in a bush and ordering Samuel to watch. He was furious! For about two seconds. This is where I ran into the biggest obstacle to my ultimate goal of Sim-on-Sim crime: I build houses too cute.
If a Sim is in a well-designed room, they get an emotional boost that makes them happy. And it’s way overpowered. Samuel and Sandra could not stew in their resentment. He couldn’t get sad; she couldn’t get mad. The house was just too nice. When they discussed his relationship fears, they had healthy communication? It was the opposite of the “You are not a victim†speech, all thanks to the décor.
It was only after I got Sandra to cheat with fucking Santa Claus that Samuel lost it.
He threw a drink at her; she insulted his woo-hoo skills. They physically fought on the balcony. Finally, I was sure Sandra would go in for the kill. But then the clock struck 2 a.m., ending the Winterfest holiday event. Apparently, the two had done enough Winterfest activities that they got the “Winterfest was great!†moodlet and immediately were happy again. They did big, Santa-like belly laughs and went to bed.
This is actually the main problem I have with the murder theory irl. Why disrupt their equilibrium if she has everything she wants? Sandra can write under any conditions, she can cheat, Sam can take care of the house. Why ruin a good thing with a homicide? Especially if a major thing on the Maslow hierarchy of needs (cute house) was taken care of.
But in The Sims, I could actually use décor to my murderous advantage. Enter the tragic-clown painting.
2: Suicide, He Tried?
The tragic-clown painting is one of those weird Sims 4 lore things that you can go years without activating in gameplay. But if you put this painting up, and make a Sim “view†it enough, a sad clown will show up at your house. It will try to juggle, tell jokes, and otherwise lift your Sims’ spirits, but it will always backfire. I had Samuel view the clown enough to spawn one. I then added her to the household. As metaphors for clinical depression go, having a sad clown move in with your family is, uh, one of them.
Having Aimee the Tragic Clown around made gloomy Samuel a little gloomier, but only if they were in the same room. If she went to sleep, or took out the trash, or walked Snoop, Samuel was back to dancing to Carnaval beats in his well-appointed living room.
Sandra wrote more novels. She got a publisher, she began to get royalties (which was a good thing because the house was expensive and Samuel was doing nothing to contribute financially). Unfortunately, the game didn’t really acknowledge his professional jealousy. So Samuel was mostly fine, clown notwithstanding. He cooked Daniel’s meals, he helped with homework, he took Snoop for walks. But mostly he danced.
I was starting to lose it. I’d promised my editor I would not rest until Samuel Maleski was dead, but these Sims were not cooperating. They hadn’t even had a kitchen fire, for chrissake. Sandra couldn’t get cruel enough, and Samuel was nowhere sad enough. Is living in a sick chalet really that effective an antidepressant? Would I be happier in France? Should I abandon my responsibilities (playing The Sims for work) and become an interior decorator in the French Alps? I despaired. But then I discovered something new: If Samuel became the tragic clown, he could not escape it. I also remembered a whole new way he could die, and it was built into the game.
3: Oops, He Fell!
Snowy Escape added a few new elements to the game. It made the Japanese-ish neighborhood of Mt. Komorebi, where I’d already placed the Maleski chalet. It also added rock climbing to the game, and a new death. Murder mods aside, there are so many ways a Sim can die in The Sims 4. They can be electrocuted, drown, set themselves on fire with a faulty stove or fireplace, or freeze to death. They can die of embarrassment, of poisoning, of rabies. And they can die while climbing. Unfortunately(?), they can only die while climbing the tallest climbing wall, which can only be reached during a group excursion and after leveling up the Sims’ rock-climbing skill to at least level 6. I leveled up Samuel to a 6 in rock climbing, then found another sim to give level-10 skill to, so that the pair could scale the simulated mountain peak.
The Sim I chose? Olivia Wilde, from my Don’t Worry Darling Sims play-through. I would have picked Florence Pugh, but she’d become a werewolf and that seemed like an extra variable I didn’t need. Master climber Olivia Wilde and her apprentice, Samuel Maleski, set off for adventure.
Just getting to the potentially fatal climb was a slog. At one point, it started thunder-snowing and Olivia Wilde got struck by lightning while I wasn’t looking. Samuel’s needs were way down. He was tired, he was stinky, and he had to pee. Almost exactly where I wanted him. The coup de grâce was making him climb wearing the tragic clown costume. That’s when it happened. The depressed, smelly, exhausted man fell and he could not get up.
The Grim Reaper collected his soul and left Olivia Wilde with the choice of either dragging his body back down the mountain or leaving it as a landmark/warning to future climbers, like so many real corpses on Mt. Everest.
So that’s how it happened. Did Sandra Voyter kill her husband in Anatomy of a Fall? Non. Did he kill himself? Also no. Daniel’s dog-science experiment was for naught. Samuel Maleski died while rock climbing with Olivia Wilde, wearing a clown costume. Notify the French tabloids. The people need to know!