comedians you should know

Auguste White Is Mugging Her Own Brain

Photo-Illustration: Alicia Tatone; Photos courtesy of the subjects.

This week, we’re highlighting 25 talented writers and performers for Vulture’s annual list “The Comedians You Should and Will Know.†Our goal is to introduce a wider audience to the talent that has the comedy community and industry buzzing. (You can read more about our methodology at the link above.) We asked the comedians on the list to answer a series of questions about their work, performing, goals for the future, and more. Next up is Auguste White.

Tell us a story from your childhood you think explains why you ended up becoming a comedian.
Growing up, we had a sweet, slightly insane neighbor named Mr. George. He was, I want to say, about 60 billion years old, and he had an extraordinarily twisted and sick sense of humor. One day when I was 7 years old, he took me and my two sisters on a walk down to the waterfront so that our parents could spend the evening alone. Before we went back home, he revealed that he had an elaborate prank he wanted to pull on our parents, the basic premise of which was that we were to run back home without him as fast as we could and tell our parents that while we were playing by the river, George drowned. He was super-excited about the prank and had us rehearse the story a bunch of times, poking holes in it and giving us notes and everything because he insisted, “It’s not going to work if you don’t sell it.†He was cracking himself up so hard making a bunch of kids help him effectively fake his own death, and it was just a damn good time.

What unscripted or reality series do you think you’d excel at? What archetype do you think you’d be?
I love wedding shows, and I especially love Say Yes to the Dress. I would love to be one of the sassy consultants wearing a million bangles and really intense makeup who helps girls find dresses, because I love that they are also basically acting as shamans and spiritual guides on the brides’ journey to self-actualization. In my talking-head bit, I’d be like, “So, Brianne is looking for a sequined vintage-inspired dress that shows her cleavage, but covers the billion wounds that time itself has left on her mind. Her budget is $80, and girl, I know just the thing!â€

What’s your proudest achievement of your comedy career so far?
The achievement of my comedy career that I really treasure is probably writing for the episode of SNL with Steve Martin and Brandi Carlile. Brandi Carlile’s music changed my life, and Steve Martin is a huge influence of mine. I remember waking up that Monday and thinking, This week when Brandi Carlile says she’s going to work, and when Steve Martin says he’s going to work, and when I say I’m going to work, we’re all going to the same place. These people saved my life in high school! And the fact that my efforts in comedy have led me to the people whose art was my company when I was at my most alone … That’s about as cool as it gets.

What have you learned about your own joke-writing process that you didn’t know when you started?
I have learned that I am at my funniest when I take care of myself! Sometimes when I have writer’s block, I get frustrated and desperate and even though I know it won’t work, I try to mug my own brain. I’m like, QUICK! BE FUNNY OR ELSE. But actually, when I’m at ease and taking good care of myself, the really funny stuff comes.

Tell us everything about your worst show ever. (This can involve venue, audience, other comedians on the lineup, anything!)
I did a bar show in L.A. last summer, and I invited my crush. I think every comedian has done a show at a bar where as soon as you walk in, you realize that no one in the bar knew that there was going to be a comedy show and all they wanted was a peaceful drink, which is our last true right. The total number of people in this bar ultimately included me, the other comics, my crush, and maybe three other folks who were having active loud conversations. The cool thing about this show was that I learned that there is no right amount of eye contact to make with your crush in this situation, but there is a wrong amount. And in case you were wondering, y’all are not gonna kiss after. The only thing that could possibly help you would be a kind of catastrophic weather event that bonds you for life.  

Let’s say we live in a “Kings of Catchphrase Comedy†alternate dimension where every single comedian is required to have a hit catchphrase. What’s yours and why?
My catchphrase would be “God is drunk.†This would be my catchphrase because … Honestly, just look around, honey! God is literally drunk. I guess the girls that get it get it, and the girls that don’t don’t.

Nominate one comedian you don’t know personally you think is overdue for wider recognition and why you’re a fan of their work.
Wally Baram is the most hilarious person in the world! Her stand-up is the smartest and silliest comedy I’ve seen all summer. Her observations are so specific and original and truthful — in fact, when audiences watch her, it’s like the laughs get deeper and deeper as people realize just how true and silly it all is. Go see Wally or I will be very disappointed in you.

When it comes to your comedy opinions — about material, performing, audience, trends you want to kill/revive, the industry, etc. — what hill will you die on?
This is so niche, but it is something that I have noticed in tapes of my own performances and I can’t not notice it wherever I go! COMICS, LISTEN UP: Do not suck your teeth before the punch line! When you’re just starting out, you can develop these little habits to keep the rhythm of the delivery of the joke, and one super-common one that we young comics rely on is making a little sound before the punch line, like tutting or sucking your teeth or clicking your tongue. Whenever I can beat the instinct to do that, I always feel like the joke gets better.

If you had to come onstage to just one song for the rest of your life, what song would it be and why?
“Uproar,†by Lil Wayne??? Sometimes .0000001 seconds of a song is enough to make a young Black artist feel that she is a very real danger to society (because she is). The only runner-up to this song is “She’s So Gone†from the film Lemonade Mouth.

What is the best comedy advice, and then the worst comedy advice, you’ve ever received, either when you were starting out or more recently?
The best comedy advice I have ever received was to write my jokes by hand. It really helps my brain slow down and allows me to pick up on things about the joke that I haven’t noticed. The worst comedy advice I have ever received was not to pursue comedy. I’m glad I didn’t listen!

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Auguste White Is Mugging Her Own Brain