I’m thrilled to report that we can add Charli XCX to the list of celebrity fans of Below Deck after she shouted out all the franchise’s shows on Las Culturistas last week. Pop stars, they’re just like us! We’re all watching the second episode start with a replay of Chef Jono refusing to get out of bed to help Ellie make late-night snacks. I think Jono should’ve helped, but Ellie should’ve had better time management and not woken him twice. It’s ridiculous that they don’t have frozen food ready for this. At 1 a.m., anything will taste good.
Ellie finally gets started on the drinks while Gael works on the grilled cheeses. Two guests, Ben and Alfie, take over bartending and seem to know more than Ellie’s cocktail course taught her. Ben also goes down to the galley to save the grilled cheeses or, depending on your opinion, ruin them with avocado. He seems ready to join the crew, but we’ve had enough Bens on Below Deck, thank you very much. The guests call it a night at 2:50 a.m., though Ellie’s still awake cleaning at 5:15 and goes to bed around six. She’s not going to let herself get beaten down by a tough first night; she made her own Barbie house out of cardboard as a kid. (I wonder how long it took her to make.)
The next morning, Jono is proud he stuck up for himself and didn’t get out of bed. He also makes a tenuous analogy to his childhood: As a gay kid in the closet, he didn’t stick up for himself so he’s making up for that now. Meanwhile, Bri forgot her first task was to get the laundry going, but Aesha showers her with positive affirmations, thanking her for her hard work; everything was hectic on the first day, and they’ll get better each day. Sandy overhears and compliments Aesha on the pep talk.
We learn that Iain likes to teach, but, more important from his actions, he likes to gossip and/or tattle. He tells Sandy about Ellie trying to wake up Jono. Jono tells Aesha, who points out that the preference sheets said the guests wanted late-night snacks. We cut to two days ago at the preference-sheet meeting: Jono says he’ll take care of any cooked snacks. In the tense present day, Aesha says he should prep something next time, and he agrees. Sandy calls Jono to the bridge and similarly suggests he make some panini ahead of time. It’s a first-charter learning curve, but it’s a new expectation going forward.
Sandy and Aesha are still texting the provisioner about the rosé and the rest of the wine. They’re told it’ll come later that evening, which is too late because the charter will be over already. So for lunch, they send Joe to a neighboring superyacht to ask for four bottles of rosé. This is his first lead-deckhand role, and he wants to prove himself. He goes into negotiation mode and reveals he’s no stranger to sales — he has sold cars, watches, houses, and even a broomstick. I would love to see those Facebook Marketplace messages. The neighboring captain quotes them 75 euros a bottle. Joe knows the brand is worth no more than €20, but they end up paying €300 for five bottles. So much for negotiating experience. The guests are elated to finally have rosé, and they love the food. Jono nailed their individual preferences with special non-spicy versions of dishes. Ellie relays their compliments to him, awkwardly waiting for something more from Jono about last night, but he hasn’t acknowledged it to her at all. It’s like a game of “Who will break first?†between these two.
Downstairs, Bri continues to struggle with getting the correct laundry back to the guests. The guests tell Ellie they’re still missing some clothes, and she tells Aesha, who believes Bri’s on it. This is stressful for Bri because she went to boarding schools where they sent the laundry out. She briefly goes into her cabin to cry, and I think about rewatching The Holdovers. Bri then returns to the laundry, finds Nick’s missing pants, and puts them in the dryer. Ellie calls her out to never dry guests’ clothes on high to avoid shrinkage. Ellie then lies to Nick and says they took so long because they were hang drying. I love this sneaky little side of her. Bri’s day gets worse when she accidentally stubs and cuts her toe on the lip of a door. In a nice moment, Joe bandages it for her.
Later, when the crew prepares to dock, Joe is refreshingly honest about his lack of experience on the bow. He asks Gael what distances he’s supposed to be calling, which makes me wonder if she was overlooked for lead deckhand. Joe then struggles with the winches not gripping the rope. After docking, Sandy gives them feedback, and he complains about the winches but Nathan calls him out — he needs to put tension on the rope manually. Sandy agrees, and as a layperson, I don’t totally follow what she means about getting the groundline on first before using the winches (a term they seem to use interchangeably with windlass). Sandy can tell Nathan has experience, and he seems to earn a point in her book. Nathan tells us there’s no issue with the windlass, but he doesn’t want to step on Joe’s toes or be lead deckhand. I don’t know how much I believe him when he just called out Joe in front of the captain.
As the guests say good-bye, primary Jacob compliments the food but calls out the disappointing lack of provisions and the missing clothes. Aesha gets rid of all the stress of the charter by immediately taking a giant poo and telling everyone about it. She then checks in with the stews, finally abandoning some of her relentless positivity. Bri needs to be faster and keep track of whose stuff is whose. Aesha says Ellie should be in bed within an hour of the guests, and if she needs longer, it means she’s with them too much. Their conversation seems awkwardly edited, as if it skips ahead: Ellie says cooking with them was like entertainment; Aesha says if guests want to cook, say “no†because it’s a safety thing. This is the same boat sending tipsy guests out on Jet Skis, but okay.
At the tip meeting, Sandy’s happy so far with everyone’s character. The tip is a decent $15,000. Sandy emphasizes to “never wake the chef†and restates the plan for premade panini going forward. Ellie pushes back: It wasn’t just panini they were asking for, and that’s why she woke Jono. Sandy interrupts her: They have only one chef, so don’t wake him. After the meeting, Jono finally addresses it with Ellie, repeating the instruction never to wake him, but he says he did learn the lesson to prepare things and is empathetic to her crazy situation. Ellie doesn’t feel she gets enough compassion from everyone. In tears to Bri, she says she was awake for 25 hours. They made her feel like she was incompetent for going above and beyond trying to clean everything up. She worries that Jono has skewed Sandy’s perception of her. I’m worried more about labor laws and whether Ellie will get overtime for such a long shift.
Jono calls his boyfriend, David, an opera singer, to debrief. Like Gael and her boyfriend, they’ve been together for five months. Jono tells David about Ellie: “This bitch is going to drive me crazy.†We love some dramatic foreshadowing! Speaking of Gael’s boyfriend, their goal is to find a boat they can both work on. However, she does think Nathan’s a “little cutie†and thinks a platonic friendship with him is possible. Nathan thinks she’s a flirt and doesn’t care about her boyfriend whatsoever.
It’s the first crew night out, and everyone dresses their best. They go to dinner on Lycabettus Hill overlooking Athens. (Fun fact: I once hurried up this hill to catch the sunset and was unaware I’d have to sweatily run through a nice restaurant). Gael thinks she’s part of Nathan and Joe’s bromance and calls herself “the thorn between two roses.†This makes no sense, but the conversation moves on to relationships. Gael says hers is “a long shot†and they’re still working on trust, especially with her boyfriend on boats with other girls. Based on how she’s flirting with Nathan, it seems her boyfriend is the one who should be concerned. Aesha has been with her boyfriend, Scott, for three and a half years and tells us she has never been paranoid, so if Gael’s worried, it’s probably not right. To Gael, Aesha just says there’s a lot of cheating in yachting so it’s best not to fret about something before it happens. Nathan listens to all this, ears perked wayyy up.
Both Bri and Ellie think Joe is charismatic and hot, but his eyes are on Bri. The crew heads to dance at a club, where Bri and Joe dance together. Iain tries to ask Ellie to dance, but she’s not interested. Ellie plans to play hard to get with Joe … or dance with him the second Bri goes to the loo. That sneaky side comes out again. On the topic of sneaking, Gael and Nathan get pretty close on the dance floor and promise to “sneak a strawberry.†If you forget about her boyfriend, it’s kind of cute that they already have an inside joke after two days. They want to lose the cameras to get this strawberry. Do they think they’re actually pulling one over on us? Or do they just not want video proof of cheating? You’re on a reality show, babe; everyone is going to find out!
Back on the boat, Joe asks if Bri needs her toe rebandaged. Bri throws subtlety out the window: “I want you to suck it.†A bit later, they near-kiss trying to Lady-and-the-Tramp what looks to be a macaron. After everyone goes to sleep in their own bed, Nathan and Gael stay up texting, planning to meet in the starboard-bow locker, which has no cameras. Gael reasons that she’s “not harming anyone.†Um, your boyfriend?