Cobra Kai has always played with the inherent silliness of a community so obsessed with karate. One of the ways it does that is with the All Valley board meetings, where godlike figures hand down edicts that will shape the course of karate instruction in the San Fernando Valley for years to come. These scenes, especially the one that opens “Kicks Get Chicks,†remind me of the competition judge arguments from Glee: They make a competition between high-schoolers feel like life or death. “God help us all,†one board member says as they send out their latest decision.
The decision is this: At this year’s All Valley Tournament, there will be a girls’ division, meaning there will be two All Valley champs. The Grand Champion trophy will go to whichever dojo wins the most points. (There will also be skills competitions, but that doesn’t have as many pressing implications for the main characters.)
Much of “Kicks Get Chicks†deals with the aftermath of this announcement, and more importantly, with the aftermath of the last episode’s dramatic dojo schism. It’s a more low-key episode, focusing on a number of side stories, but it’s an entertaining one.
For one, Johnny and Miguel have some much-needed bonding time on their mission to recruit a female student to Eagle Fang so they can compete in the girls’ division. Johnny tries several tactics, including creepily roaming around the field where the girls’ teams practice, but their first real prospect doesn’t come until they run into Moon, who suggests her ex-girlfriend Piper. Moon even gives them some pointers on how to win Piper over, mostly by appealing to her interest in social justice and feminism.
That doesn’t sound like a natural fit for Johnny — he hilariously thought an asexual girl was calling herself “a sexual†a minute ago — but he pulls it off. “We live in a world where you gotta be an alpha to survive,†he tells Piper. “You gotta be a man. But at Eagle Fang, we confront that problematic phrase and make it empowering for all. We teach anyone who identifies as female to embrace their queenly strength and tear down the neo-masculine hierarchy to confront internalized sexism.†When an amazed Miguel asks Johnny if he even knew what those terms meant, Johnny has the perfect reply: “Do I look like I pee sitting down?†It’s a satisfying moment of competence from our unlikely hero.
Of course, they don’t get the win because Piper ultimately joins Cobra Kai, won over by their fancy new gear. (“I even learned feminism,†Johnny complains.) But with a push from Miguel to think outside the box the way he did with him, Johnny finally makes a real recruit: a badass girl on the debate team whose uncontained fury inspires him.
With Sam on Miyagi-Do, Daniel is more carefree about the new tournament rules. But it’s not all paradise at the LaRusso house. Tory shows up asking Amanda for help; because of her family situation, she’ll be able to return to school if she gets permission from Sam’s family. Amanda agrees in exchange for the promise that Tory will talk to someone professionally, but Sam walks in on them and flips out.
Sam has reason to be a little pissed. After all, this was the girl who almost murdered her twice. And she’s certainly right to be frustrated with her dad for splitting with Johnny when she was learning a lot from him. But a lot of this story doesn’t do Sam many favors as a character because it puts her in brat mode, and she’s not a ton of fun to spend time with.
But it’s a nice surprise to see Aisha, who Sam visits in Santa Barbara for some advice. When Sam vents about Tory potentially returning to West Valley, Aisha tells her a story: When she started at her new school and saw the girl she figured would be her next bully, she “struck first†by introducing herself. It’s a great example of the positive effects of Johnny’s teaching, a sign that his strike-first mentality can be applied to more than just beating the shit out of people. Aisha’s absence from the show since the start of season three has been unfortunate, and I wish she’d come back in a regular capacity.
Sam seems to take Aisha’s advice to heart. But at school the next day, she forgoes the kindness in her first strike. Before Tory can reluctantly thank Sam for letting her come back, Sam threatens to kick her ass, saying she’s not scared of her. It’s a reasonable enough warning, considering what Tory did. But ending on “I’m coming for you, bitch†is a little much.
Still, the story is worth it for the scene when Amanda explains to Daniel why she empathizes with Tory: As a kid, she was charged with misdemeanor reckless endangerment for hitting her math tutor’s car with a baseball bat while she was inside. The tutor was having an affair with her dad and Amanda made a mistake, which she put behind her after years of hard work. She wants to break the pattern now and give Tory another chance.
That makes Daniel realize he needs to break the pattern with Robby. Visiting him at Cobra Kai, he warns him about Terry Silver. But Silver himself walks in and scoffs at Daniel’s accusation of him being a “conman†who turns people into something they’re not. According to Silver, he didn’t turn Daniel into anything; he just brought out what was already inside. “You just don’t wanna admit there’s always been a little Cobra Kai in you,†he says. And it’s true. We saw it in the original Karate Kid, we saw it when Daniel briefly went dark in The Karate Kid Part III, and we’ve seen it on Cobra Kai as recently as last week. Daniel has a dark streak inside him that usually stays hidden until his hero complex occasionally takes over.
These character stories on the margins of the episode are more enlightening, this time around, than what’s going on with Sam. After the desecration of his mohawk, Hawk wants to quit karate altogether. It’s not just that he thinks people liked him just for the mohawk or that he’s less badass without it. It’s that this whole incident happened because of the unpleasant bully he became the moment he picked up karate. Hawk may have joined Miyagi-Do and made up with Demetri, but there’s still a bully within him, as he showed Kenny. Now he can see, with full clarity, the pain he caused: “I ruined my reputation, I talked a big game, and just proved I was an asshole. To Moon, to Miguel, and especially you. I got what I deserved.â€
Luckily, there’s Demetri, who stresses to Hawk how much karate changed his life after Hawk introduced him to it. He pulls up their “Binary Brothers†video, reminding him that the mohawk never defined who he was. To Demetri, he was always, first and foremost, a best friend. And that’s what finally convinces him he’s good enough to come back.
This subplot is a really smart way of acknowledging Hawk’s complicated past, and the inability to just become a different person overnight. In just a few background stories, this season has really sold me on his rehabilitation, and it’s done it by refusing to take the easy route of retconning or trivializing.
In Cobra Kai, people are capable of great change, often in a short period of time. The Johnny we see assembling his team now is totally different from the Johnny at the start of the show, only a little over a year ago in story-time. And in that same slim period, Hawk went from a sweet, shy kid who got picked on to a cruel, macho monster obsessed with getting even against the world — and then, to a brave young man willing to change and do what was right, ashamed of the person he was only months ago. Redemption isn’t always simple and linear. Even when forgiveness is granted quickly, change is never easy.
Mr. Miyagi’s Little Trees
• After Johnny approaches seemingly every teenage girl on the field, Moon tells Miguel and Johnny, “Some perv was creeping on the track team, so we’re gonna practice inside.â€
• Tory gets ambushed by her Auntie Kandace, who wants her mom’s disability money. It mostly serves as a wake-up call for Tory, but I’m curious if Kandace will return again.