As with so much of Dead to Me, “We Didn’t Think This Through†is interested in how much emotional bandwidth we can spare for others when we’re already spread so thin with our own problems. Judy continues to try and hide her cancer diagnosis from her best friend because she knows that Jen has enough to worry about right now, while there’s also a timely reminder that other people are dealing with things that we can’t imagine, like losing a husband to suicide. Ben has released his emotional baggage by confessing to the hit and run, but something else takes its place, and his alcoholism continues to impact how much he has to give to anyone around him. There’s always been a game of emotional give-and-take between Judy and Jen, and this season has constantly shifted who needs the most support. But it sure feels like Judy is about to be the one most in need.
Michelle and Judy wake up together, as do Ben and Jen across town. Are these happy couples going to end the show together? Both have legitimate chemistry, a testament to both the casting and the caliber of the writing. For now, though, Michelle has to run — she has to go take care of her mother again, allowing Judy a vision of the non-stop appointments that await her if she chooses to treat her stage-four cervical cancer.
Meanwhile, Jen and Ben are dealing with the aftermath of his confession in the last episode. “We’ve all done things we regret,†she says. Will she match his confession by the end of the season and series and admit to killing his twin brother? Jen recommends that Ben attends the grief group that started this entire show in the first place, but he wants to just take a bath first. Some candles would be cool, too. Ben really is a big, goofy, charming softie — you’ve gotta respect a man who listens to Patsy Cline and likes a good bath. And now Charlie knows this goofball is sleeping with his mom. And so Ben recruits him to help deal with the leak that is now dripping from their bathroom into the kitchen.
The drip of the ceiling segues nicely to the fountain in the office of Judy’s doctor. (A lot of water and bird imagery on this show.) She’s back quicker than expected and ready for her treatment plan, which includes chemo and another PET scan. Of course Judy immediately starts talking about not being a burden, even though the doctor reminds her that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. She might have to be. This is going to be grueling. Poor Judy.
Back at Jen’s, Ben and Charlie dig an abnormal amount of hair out of the tub drain, then find something even stranger: a hole in the pipe, as if acid burned through it. Remember that? Remember the rats that Jen dissolved in the tub? One of those hot rats destroyed the pipes in the Harding home. It’s a callback for fans, but also a reminder that this is often a show where something appears to have gone away only to resurface and cause destruction yet again.
When Judy gets back from the doctor, Jen just drops everything at her feet. Ben is the one who hit them; Jen slept with Ben after his confession; there’s a rat hole in the pipes. With everything going on, Judy can’t tell her what’s up, so she lies and says she’s going to Sonoma with Michelle for three months. Is she really going to do chemo by herself? Or maybe she’ll bring in Michelle? Ben interrupts and seems emotionally relieved that Judy knows now too. So I guess the accident subplot is over? Was it really just a cliffhanger en route to the cancer story line? Interesting.
At the oceanside grief meeting with Pastor Wayne and the gang, Ben is unloading. Tears, anger, all of it, and he’s right between two people who know exactly what happened to his dead brother. Sometimes it’s easy to forget. What does that kind of remorse do to Jen? Ben mentions that the FBI has some news for him, which has to worsen Jen’s ulcer — perhaps that’s why Ms. Harding lashes out at Judy for going to Sonoma during all this emotional upheaval. And then something interesting happens: The writing shifts to a character we haven’t seen in years as Yolanda (Telma Hopkins) mentions that it’s the anniversary of her husband’s death. She wants to go to his favorite karaoke bar, but it is closed, and so Judy does a very Judy thing and offers to throw a party with Henry’s singing machine.
Before you know it, everyone is gathered in the Harding backyard — the scene of a relatively recent crime, by the way — and Yolanda is singing “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe†(but replacing the last word with Burt, her husband’s name). After the song, she escapes to Judy’s room to catch her breath and get her emotions under control. When Judy brings her a glass of water, Yolanda speaks of a husband who was ordinary, steady, and predictable but didn’t ask for the help he needed. Will this convince Judy to ask for the help she needs?
She might be forced to because Michelle unexpectedly shows up at the party and reveals that she heard what Judy said last night just before she fell asleep but couldn’t process it at the time. She froze and pretended to be out. It’s a nice, tender moment for Natalie Morales. Michelle gives Judy an amethyst for healing. Let’s hope it works.
Ben could use an amethyst himself, but he’s chosen the bottle instead. The country fan is singing some Willie Nelson with a noticeable slur. He talked to the FBI and discovered that his brother died by drowning. Turns out it wasn’t the impact of Jen hitting Steve but the pool into which he fell that killed him — the pool that Ben is standing next to at that moment. And then Ben falls in the water, giving us a visual echo of the death of his brother and pissing off Charlie, who realizes that his mom is dating a drunk. Maybe that will be the final straw because Charlie’s anger sends Ben to the police station, where he asks fellow AA vet Nick to help him out. And then Nick discovers that Ben got the wooden bird from Henry and that it was made by Judy. Uh-oh.
Before that event, Judy finally drops the cancer news on Jen. At first, Jen is righteously mad that her BFF kept this a secret, scolding her, “You’re not a burden, you’re my fucking heart.†There’s some raw emotion coming from Applegate here that feels like it may be rooted in the real-life health concerns shadowing the show this season. Jen promises Judy that everything will be okay, and I sure hope she’s right.
The next morning, in a sign that the season may not be done with its surprise twists, the upstairs tub falls through the ceiling and onto the kitchen counter. “This place is a real death trap,†says Shandy. No kidding.
Extra Counseling
• Does it feel like there’s enough urgency given there are only five episodes left in the run of the show? The momentum really needs to start building now that we’re past the halfway point.
• I love Wayne’s little speech about how kindness feels good. He’s not wrong.
• It’s hard to say if she’ll be back, so a quick recommendation for anyone who likes Natalie Morales on this show: Check out her Language Lessons, which she co-wrote, directed, and stars in. It’s a pandemic production, shot entirely over Zoom, and stars only her and Mark Duplass. It’s a sweet little character study.