For what it’s worth, All Stars gave us the right top five. This season has mostly been an uninspired romp through the land of serviceability, but looking around the Werk Room this episode, I was struck by the fact that all five of these queens are at least giving something in both the challenges and in the Werk Room. None of them is a slouch. Watching Jimbo constantly dominate is interesting because she can pull out something that you didn’t even know could exist prior to her doing it. Lala is legitimately funny in confessionals, and given the right challenge, she can turn in something worthwhile. Kandy is a whirlwind of drama, and for all that some viewers have been annoyed by her antics and Ru’s supposed favoritism, I have to admit that imagining this season without her makes me sad. People react to her in interesting ways. Jessica’s been the coup of the season, a queen with so much personality that her presence validates the entire idea of All Stars — why on earth would we want to miss out on more Jessica Wild, no matter how boring the season around her is?
And that brings us to Alexis, who has a big, big episode. She’s not necessarily the most talented queen in the bunch, and she’s not the most likable, but dear God I love watching her on my television screen. She’s a jolt of pure, unadulterated, theater-kid energy that is, yes, objectively annoying but also extremely watchable. Throughout this episode, and in Untucked, she proves her worth to the Drag Race franchise. Not by winning the challenge (we’ll get to it, but obviously, she shouldn’t have won), but by being a ridiculous drama starter without ever realizing that’s what she is. Her extremely competitive nature combined with her camp naïveté make her the ideal Drag Race contestant. She’s a star, though maybe not the kind she wants to be. That’s good TV.
I bring this up because, while this episode isn’t a masterwork by any means, I do think it could have gone a lot worse. This has not been a season packed with queens who are going to thrill audiences with their Drag Race capabilities, but, credit to the producers, this is probably the best top-five episode we were going to get. It doesn’t reflect well on the rest of the season that this is the first time it feels like we have any tension around who is going home, but it’s a welcome change of pace. I didn’t know who was going home at the start of this episode, and that’s good. As long as it wasn’t Jimbo or Jessica (what is this season without Jessica?), I didn’t care as much as I should at this point, but, also, I’ve come to accept that.
Part of the reason I’m giving a lot of backhanded hedged compliments is that this week’s challenge isn’t particularly thrilling, but the results are strong. It’s the first time this season that everybody gives something actively solid, but yet “make a dress out of pretty fabric†is not a thrilling exercise. Forcing these girls to make dresses out of fabric boxes inspired by past All Stars winners is hilariously nonspecific. The looks don’t even have to be inspired by their assigned past queen! It yielded successful results, but the difficulty setting was turned way down. It’s an encapsulation of a season whose unofficial motto seems to have been “don’t reach for the stars, and you can’t be mad when you don’t make it.†Whereas other uninspiring seasons of Drag Race (seasons 11 and 14, for example) can feel like failures of ambition, this season feels like a failure of inspiration. Going through the motions will create something watchable, but it won’t create something exciting. It’s not a failure to launch, it’s a failure to even build the rocket.
The episode begins with the queens celebrating Lala’s win, and with Alexis stating that the top five “feels correct,†while I assume most of the other queens are thinking “Sure. You’re the next to go anyway.†It does make a nice parallel for the episode to begin with Alexis on the bottom and Lala on top and have their fortunes be reversed by the end. It took some fudging on the judging to get there, but that’s what producers do. Alexis all but tells Lala she’d save her if she ever lands in the bottom as a “thank you†for saving her. I mostly think Lala was just mercy killing Kahanna, who needed to leave and didn’t care about Alexis, but she’s not going to pass up an alliance.
Then the challenge is announced, and I have to repeat: This is not that interesting, and it is especially weird when the queens already completed a more difficult design challenge earlier in the season. You lose momentum when you go from “make a dress out of random shit†in the third episode to “make a dress out of fabric†in the eighth.
With the challenge giving us nothing, the main tension here is the queens all but admitting they’re sending Jimbo home the second they can to mentors Raven and Shannel. It is impressive how little mentoring Raven and Shannel actually do, in fact. I have to imagine the producers said, “Stir the pot,†and they ran with it. If we’re going to keep cranking out All Stars seasons at an alarming rate, could someone do me a favor and bring Shannel back for the next one? Jimbo knows she’s going home if she lands in the bottom too. Luckily for her, she’s incredible at Drag Race so “never land in the bottom†isn’t a bad strategy.
The Werk Room shenanigans are cute, as they often are during sewing challenges, which have a unique ability to get queens loopy. (And high? I think a few of them may have been high.) But they aren’t surprising. The queens are nervous, the challenge is difficult for the non-sewers, Jimbo isn’t sure she’s going to finish on time, and Alexis thinks the judges might not like her high glamour. That last one is almost certainly a lie — the judges always like high glamour and Alexis knows that. Still, everybody needs an arc.
On the runway, the results are more “thank God†than “oh, wow.†You guys were given good fabrics and no theme, please give us something! Kandy is probably the worst of the week. She looks good, but there’s nothing inspired about a black gown that doesn’t hit the floor, especially after she told Raven and Shannel that she knows it needs to hit the floor. The judges don’t love the proportions, either, but I am mostly just caught up on the hem length and the fact that it’s boring. Her hair and makeup are gorgeous, but the dress isn’t great. It should be great.
Jimbo, once again, eats the other girls up. I gasped. Did you gasp? This outfit is a masterpiece, from the facekini with the pearls making a smile to the incredible sleeves to the cape with the floral print cut in. Two complaints, just because: The cowl should have been bigger, which she knew, and the hands should have been covered. Otherwise, this is stunning. I was blown away by the creativity and the ambition. If somebody had worn this for a facekini runway they had time to prepare for, it still would have probably been one of the best of the week.
Lala looks good. The color is a great choice, and the shoulder pads are a nice touch. It is a bit uninspired, although it has more design to it than Kandy’s. Ross complains that the one sleeve needs a bit of a pump, but I think it’s fine. The fit isn’t great, though, and the wig line is atrocious. Why is it so far back?
I’ll say this for Alexis: She looks great. I certainly would have put her in the top. It’s a pageant gown that is impeccably made; if you told me she brought it from home, I wouldn’t blink an eye. It all looks pretty much perfect. Unlike Jimbo, I truly have no notes. But also unlike Jimbo, I didn’t gasp. Is a perfectly executed dress that I’ve seen before better than a very well executed outfit that is much harder to make and so original I was shocked by it? Not by my standards. Still, awarding Alexis over Jimbo is probably for the best. Jimbo getting four wins would be a disaster for a season that she’s already dominating, and Alexis is very funny in the winner’s seat. Plus, the lip sync is better. It’s definitely an eyebrow-raising moment when Jimbo loses, but, on a production level, I cannot complain.
Jessica also looks good. I’m not in love with the color of this green fabric (who am I, Michelle Visage?), but it’s a fully conceived design that has been competently executed. Lala’s look is actually slightly more to my preferences, because I like the color better and I’ve never been obsessed with handkerchief hems, but I also think Jessica is deservedly safe. Is it my favorite type of look? No. Is it objectively better done and more realized than Kandy’s or Lala’s? Yes.
Ultimately, Alexis wins, and Kandy and Lala are in the bottom two, and who Alexis will choose is a pretty big question mark. Lala just saved her, but Kandy scares her. Lala is someone she wants to bone, but Alexis and Kandy are both from New York. Alexis’s voting confessional is the funniest part of the episode. I’d never really considered until this moment all the insanity that would pour out of Alexis in a situation like this, where she is told she’s the best of the week and has even a modicum of power, but it does not disappoint. Her moaning and groaning in front of the lipsticks is hilarious. Love her.
What does disappoint is that this week’s lip-sync assassin is Nicki Doll, a queen who is, in fact, bad at lip syncing. I get that she’s the host of Drag Race France, but come on now. Not that it matters, because giving Alexis Michelle a Nancy Sinatra song is like feeding a rat to a snake. The song is “These Boots Are Made for Walking,†and that’s just what Alexis does… to Nicki Doll. She’s great, perfectly tapping into that heavily performed ’60s essence. It’s not the most exciting lip sync, but it’s very well done.
Then, Alexis chooses to send home Lala. This is (1) shady—Alexis literally told Lala that she wouldn’t forget that she saved her last week early in the episode. (2) Disappointing: I love Lala! (3) Pretty good TV. Alexis quoting Coco Montrese for no reason as she stabs Lala in the back? Wild stuff. Lala, I will miss you, but you had a hell of a better run this time around.
Also on Untucked …
• Absolutely obsessed with Alexis confronting Kandy over the fact that she slipped her a note asking to be in an alliance with her earlier in the season and Kandy said she forgot about it. This is Kandy at her best. I laughed out loud.
• Alexis Michelle Watch: Talked a lot about Alexis already, because it really was her week, but I didn’t have space to mention how much I loved her annoying little “Good thing I can†with the arm lift as she does a split during the lip sync. God she is just so … her.
• Predicted top three: Despite everybody wanting to send Jimbo home, both Jimbo and Jessica feel pretty safe, though it would be nice if Jessica picked up another win. I’m still thinking it’s gonna be Kandy, because I think the other girls see her as a finalist.
• Why is Brandon Boyd the guest judge? I didn’t hate it or like it particularly; I was simply confused.