All the Things Indian Matchmaking’s Aparna Simply Cannot Stand

If you’ve watched any of Netflix’s new reality dating series Indian Matchmaking, you’re probably aware that matchmaking hopeful and breakout star Aparna Shewakramani can be a little, well, picky. Throughout the episodes, we follow Aparna as she goes on a series of first dates, set up by the impeccably dressed matchmaker Sima Auntie, with varying degrees of success — due to her (how do we put this kindly?) demanding personality. Look, the woman likes things the way she likes them, and you’d better believe she knows exactly what she likes and what she doesn’t. It just so happens that she doesn’t like much.

We decided to round up everything Aparna has said she simply can’t stand, from comedy to lawyers to first dances at weddings. Sure, the astrologer on the show calls Aparna “fickle minded” and “rude in speech,” but we think she’s just a polarizing woman who isn’t afraid to go after the things she wants in this world and to avoid the things she doesn’t care for — which, again, are many, including:

• Football

• Watching football (live or on television)

• Seeing someone all the time

• Seeing her future husband all the time

• Having been to only 40 countries

• Three-hour dates

• People who need to be the funniest guy in the room

• People who don’t know Bolivia has salt flats

• Lawyers

• People who want the same things she does

• Changing herself for others

• Cooking

• The outdoors

• Comedy

• This man she called “the funny man,” whom she dated once

• People who are seven years older than she is

• The food at Rice University

• Not being good at ax-throwing

• Red wine that isn’t Cabernet

• Men without a clear career path, even if they have written three books

• Men who want to live near the ocean

• Norway (only five hours of sunlight a day)

• Beaches

• Lying on a beach for more than two or three hours

• Relaxing for ten days

• A mountain she climbed in Patagonia

• Dubai

• Disney World

• Being a lawyer (technically different than “Lawyers”)

• South Africa and other “weirdly touristy places”

• Cuba (felt unsafe/sex tourism)

• Most of her first dates

• Chicago (the city, not the musical)

• When she’s on a date and the guy talks to other people

• Lawyers, again

• Jupiter driving her astrological bus for 16 years

• The 5K she has to run for her friend’s bachelorette party in NYC

• Passionately romantic men

• Looking inward at why she is so demanding

• Being a lawyer for ten years

• This one goat in her goat-yoga class

• Cakes at weddings

• Flowers at weddings

• First dances at weddings

• Children at weddings

• Seeing a child at her wedding

• Waiting for people to begin eating

• Los Angeles (went once for a weekend, left early)

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