There wasn’t much good about the fact that Donald Trump got shot, but the fact that it happened on a Saturday at least meant the late-night boys had a few days to prep what they wanted to say. And say they did! The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Late Night With Seth Meyers, and The Daily Show (occasionally hosted by Jon Stewart) all addressed the shooting directly via monologue, while Jimmy Fallon opted to focus on the more topical J.D. Vance pick. Kimmel got off lucky without having to address it — he’s currently on vacay and left the job to Anthony Anderson. Later in the summer, RuPaul will be guest hosting and to be honest, we kinda wish we got to hear her takes on the matter.
Stephen Colbert
Colbert chose to pre-tape a segment speaking about the assassination attempt “in light of the darkness.†Colbert largely opted for the tone of “disappointed dad†while talking about the shooting. “How many times do we need to learn the lesson that violence has no role in our politics?†he said. “The entire objective of a democracy is to fight out our differences with, as the saying goes, ballot, not a bullet.â€
Anthony Anderson
Anderson, subbing in for Kimmel, took a less serious approach, saying, “All weekend I kept thinking, I wonder what Jimmy Kimmel’s gonna say about this on Monday?†He then added a touch of sincerity, saying, “In all seriousness, I do wanna say that our thoughts are with the families of the victims, and that, hopefully, this will be a moment that we can all take a step back from the hatred and vitriol in our politics and maybe chill the fuck out.â€
Seth Meyers
Meyers took the wide view, noting the amount of political violence that had occurred during his tenure as a late-night host, running down the list: “from Charlottesville, to January 6, to an attack on the spouse of Nancy Pelosi, to a shooting at a congressional baseball practice, to a kidnapping plot against the governor of Michigan, and now an assassination attempt on the life of Donald Trump.†Meyers then made an appeal for Americans “to do the difficult work of safeguarding this cherished enterprise.â€
Jon Stewart
Having the luxury of responding a day later than the other hosts (The Daily Show was supposed to shoot in Wisconsin during the RNC, but had to cancel post-shooting), Stewart mainly joked around how weird/bad his job is right now. “Wow, wow. What a terrible fucking week,†he said before launching into an impression of whatever jerk convinced him to return to the fake news. “Hey, Jon, come back to The Daily Show, just for the election, it’ll be fun!†Stewart then explained why the live shows in Milwaukee couldn’t go on. Apparently, the venue they were going to use got moved into the “hard perimeter,†security-wise. “You really don’t wanna be in the hard perimeter,†he said.