The U.S. has never been short on cultural exports, but for my money, Love Is Blind is the most “American†of all. It’s addictive, provocative, and, most important, it’s cheap to produce in rapid succession. Which brings us to Love Is Blind: Mexico, the latest international mutation of a scourge streaming franchise destined to conquer the world one messy relationship at a time. Mexican actor Omar Chaparro and his wife, Lucy, step in for the Lacheys as hosts, and as always happens with international Love Is Blinds, the décor in this version is way prettier than in the original. (I am once again asking why these couples get to meet in a gorgeous lily-pad grotto while Love Is Blind contestants in the U.S. must face one another in a fugly carpeted hallway.) Production differences aside, the emotional chaos feels just like home.
The key to Love Is Blind’s success is its patented Love Square technology, which all but guarantees that while some average-looking guy will inevitably wind up dating two women battling for his heart, at least one of those bachelorettes will keep a backup option of her own. But leave it to the birthplace of the telenovela to come up with something even more tumultuous.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the Love Heptagon.
You see [clears throat, straightens blazer, and pulls out a laser pointer], we start with Fernando Hernández, a 27-year-old operations manager who entices not one, not two, but three women: There’s RocÃo “ChÃo†Mirafuentes, a 36-year-old human-development professor who aspires to be a stay-at-home mom; 30-year-old lawyer IraÃs Ramirez; and 27-year-old financial advisor Karen Torales, who has an 11-year-old daughter named Lucy. Then we have 35-year-old Saúl Reyes, an aviation-company manager and single dad who dates Karen before heading to the Tulum honeymoon with 35-year-old Leti Floresmeyer. And then, there’s 34-year-old doctor René Angeles, a total hottie who becomes IraÃs’s obvious second choice after she tries and fails to pry Fernando and Karen apart.
The most fascinating character in this mess is IraÃs, who totters over the line between sincere and calculated. It’s impossible not to empathize with her as she describes her devotion to her family, particularly to her brother, who has cerebral atrophy. Yet it’s hard to shake the feeling that this lawyer likes to manipulate the onscreen proceedings at least a little. When IraÃs squeals “I’m getting married!†after her second date with Fernando, ChÃo misunderstands it to mean that he proposed, and she expresses her disappointment to him; IraÃs fires back by gathering all the women in the lounge and telling them RocÃo lied. When Karen tells IraÃs that Fernando has chosen to fly to Tulum with her, IraÃs acts happy for her only to try to lure Fernando away. And right after giving Fernando a gift she swears she’d never give to anyone else, she pivots back to René (whom she’s apparently ghosted for two days) when Fernando turns her down.
Of course, this is not the only entanglement this season. Gerardo Zapiain, a 33-year-old musician and self-described “wannabe hippie,†is torn between 36-year-old architect Fernanda Riva Palacio and 29-year-old marketing director Mafer Trujillo, who has some of the best facial expressions of the season. Sadly, many of her signature eye rolls happen as Gerardo talks up their connection while he’s dumping her. (I can think of no other way to react to the words “The connection that I had or have with you was and is real.†Gerardo, what the hell was that?)
On the other side of the board, we have Chema Rivera, a 36-year-old business owner and pro poker player (oh boy) who struggles to choose between hopeless romantic Alejandra Caletti — a 28-year-old opera singer who is ready to give up her dreams of pursuing a master’s degree for him — and 30-year-old curvy model Silvia “Silvi†Delgado, whose Sagittarius sun matches his palpable Leo energy to a T. Ultimately, Chema goes with Silvi, which feels like the right call, but Alejandra leaves him with some ominous words: “Have fun at the beach. I’ll see you out there in real life, where everything will become clear for both of us.†Silvi, something tells me you’ll need to keep a close eye on this one!
In the end, the five couples that actually make it to Tulum feel like the usual Love Is Blind archetypes. Gerardo and Fernanda seem far and away the most likely to actually make it long term — their joint pursuit of “wholesome love†is basically normie couple #goals. Leti and Saúl, on the other hand, are absolutely doomed. (Word to the wise, friends: Never trust a man who proposes to you over chess.) Although Saúl instantly decides Karen is not “marriage material†because of her sexual experiences (specifically — gasp — swinging), he seems incapable of accepting that Leti doesn’t feel comfortable having sex within days of their honeymoon. In fact, he’s so bad at reading body language that he can’t even tell she’s uncomfortable with how aggressively he kisses her during their first meeting — an interaction that stresses her out so much she winds up crying. Leti, get out of there. We all want better for you!
Thirty-four-year-old digital-marketing manager Willy Salomón and 27-year-old indoor-cycling coach Francesca Oettler feel like the biggest wild card, mostly because we see less of them than we see the other couples and because their chemistry feels the most indecipherable. That said, they do seem invested in each other, and Willy clearly wants to bond with Francesca’s daughter, Mila. Finally, there’s Chema and Silvi, whom everyone, especially Gerardo, for some reason, seems to regard as a flash in the pan.
Maybe I’m crazy, but I’m actually rooting for Chema and Silvi the most. Yes, Chema’s been shallow in the past, but he seems committed to forming a close relationship, and he and Silvi really bonded over having lost their fathers (coincidentally, both nicknamed “Pepeâ€) to terminal illness. Am I falling for his bluff, or is everyone else just cynical? We’ll find out together! And because Love Is Blind simply cannot pass up a good twist, the couples eventually learn that Chema and Francesca have actually known each other for five years; it turns out she dated one of his best friends, and they’ve been buds ever since but never hooked up. Good for them! No one seems to care, and that’s how it should be. I’m glad we’re not reliving the Great Uche-Lydia Dustup of 2023.
As for René and IraÃs, let’s be honest — we knew these two were doomed the minute he revealed he doesn’t save money and she told him all about her meticulous budgeting habits. The minute IraÃs sees him (and his nose ring) after their engagement, it’s game over. It’s unclear if IraÃs has even one conversation with René about this before producers send both of them home, which feels way harsh. But more important, what in the world is IraÃs doing in a wedding dress during the season preview?
As always, the clips of what’s ahead have left me reeling, but if my decades of watching reality dating shows have taught me anything, it’s that looks can be deceiving. While Love Is Blind producers clearly want us to think IraÃs comes back to ruin Karen and Fernando’s relationship, I’d bet my TV and my decrepit laptop that she’s actually going to come back with René after a heart-to-heart over lunch at some vibeless restaurant. Consider Karen’s words in the teaser: “You’re here to piss me off, not because you like him.†Well, we know IraÃs likes Fernando! Also, why would Karen be wedding-dress shopping if IraÃs stole her man? Case closed.
Pod Goss
• I’m going to boldly say that ChÃo caught way too many strays over this IraÃs-Fernando engagement misunderstanding. All she told Fernando was that IraÃs said they were getting married, and from her reaction when IraÃs first talked to her, she did seem to believe it. Fernando and IraÃs cutting ChÃo off feels unfair, as does the other women’s decision to do the same without even hearing her out. Also, Fernando declaring that someone must be “lying,†as though misunderstandings never happen on reality TV, feels … well, pretty dramatic for someone who also proclaims he hates “drama.â€
• I wish Love Is Blind: U.S. could take some notes from both this version and Love Is Blind: Brazil and incorporate more body and age diversity into its casting. As much as I adore watching hot, oblivious 20-somethings fool themselves into thinking they’ve found true love, it’s refreshing to watch actual adults do the same thing. They have kids! They have frown lines! They have real perspectives about themselves and what they want out of a relationship! This is definitely going to make living together even more fascinating.
• Has any other season of Love Is Blind been this pheromone-heavy? Mafer gives Gerardo a blanket that smells like her, IraÃs gives Fernando a teddy bear spritzed with her perfume, and Alejandra sprays a letter to Chema with her own signature scent. When René gives IraÃs a beaded Buddhist necklace, she notices that it smells like him, and while Willy anxiously waits to meet Francesca, he guesses she’ll be “elegant, very classy, with a lovely fragrance.†Scented gifts are apparently so hot right now.
• Speaking of sweetness, the gift-giving we see in these four episodes is unparalleled. I nearly wept when Fernanda gave Gerardo an orchid propagated from one she had gifted to her mother. Alejandra gives Chema two lullabies she wrote for his daughter. Karen gives Fernando a picture frame for when they climb a volcano in Costa Rica, which will symbolize how they’ll reach the top of the world together, and Francesca gives Willy a ball of red string to represent the bond that ties their spirits together. In return, Willy gives Francesca a cedar-tree necklace that he and his father both wear. Swoon!