In every Housewives franchise, at least one cast member deludes themselves into believing that their on-camera theatrics will naturally evolve into a commanding stage presence, thus deeming it necessary to transition to a live show/tour. Countess Luann has her notorious cabaret, flanked by all the show-tune enthusiasts of the Upper East Side; NeNe Leakes and Joe Gorga had their short-lived stand-up tours. There are endless Housewives castaways who make their revenue by endlessly podcasting about the Bravo empire long after the checks stopped being cut (looking at you, Teddi Mellencamp and Brandi Glanville). Potomac is finally wading into these waters, with Gizelle and Robyn hosting their first live show for their podcast Reasonably Shady.
I admittedly haven’t delved into their podcast much — my personal backlog of listens is long enough as it is — but they have apparently reached one million downloads, which I’m sure has generated a few advertising dollars. Leaping into a live event, however, is a bit of a different animal. As someone who has been a guest on and worked on podcast series, even having worked on a script or two myself, there is a lot of space to self-edit, shape, and correct post-recording — and even then, the best podcasts are those that have a firm structure going into the studio so that it can be tightly produced. If you are used to just letting it shoot from the hip, that can often lead to awkward and dead moments in a live environment. So it truly comes as no surprise that, previous successes notwithstanding, Gizelle and Robyn seem to be lost in the weeds on that stage in Silver Spring.
Never mind that they couldn’t fill up the venue and that there were minor A/V issues to kick off the program. Their warm-up comic did not seem to know their names; their special moments were about as exciting as a tax bill. Who cares to see Ashley Darby doing the Dougie terribly onstage when we are barraged with it in our apps on a daily basis? Why has Juan come on if you guys will not lean into the drama (their lack of a wedding date) people care to hear about? Robyn claims they profited $14,000 after a $10,000 investment in the event — the same budget for Candiace’s parking-lot music video for “Drive Back” — and the math does not add up. Perhaps all of Karen’s petty note-taking can explain how all of those figures work out; maybe there was a silent auction of Gizelle’s old helmet wigs that we didn’t see.
It particularly doesn’t seem to make sense that the event was such a success when they had enough space to film a lengthy scene as the event was seemingly still letting out. Gizelle has finally decided to stop playing the sidelines after her beef with the Bassetts and jump back into trying to create discord for television by focusing on the dynamic between Mia and Jacqueline. In an earlier meetup with Karen, Gizelle gets the Grand Dame abuzz by letting her know that Mia implied that she bought Jacqueline’s Porsche, that they were showering together, and that Mia revealed that she and Jacqueline have shared each other’s spoils previously. When Karen later aligns with Mia to debrief her, she reveals that they used to “play doctor” in their younger years, whatever that means. Karen’s face of astonishment mirrored mine when Mia revealed that she took a flashlight to Jacqueline’s yoni; do what you want to do, it’s a free world, but what is going on here?
The more important reveal is that Mia and G had some thruple situation going on with Peter’s girlfriend — which harkens back to Wendy saying that Peter told her that they were doing some snake stuff with his girlfriend, and he didn’t care for it. That makes it clear that the fight back in Miami was personal.
After the podcasting event, however, Gizelle corners Jacqueline with Charrisse to squeeze out more information. (Let’s remember that is truly none of her business.) Candiace, who would not be caught dead supporting an event with Gizelle Bryant’s name on it, is seemingly busy filming her music video with Trina. Jacqueline responds in vague nonanswers, particularly regarding whether Mia sponsors her or whether they share Gordon. Here’s the thing: I have my fair share of friends in open situations or who have been exes and remained friends. Nothing is unusual; being extra cagey and ambiguous about it, however, makes the conversation uncomfortable and gives someone like Gizelle something to gnaw on until drama inevitably falls out. These conversations shouldn’t sound like DeuxMoi blind items; they’re relatively straightforward. But keeping it vague continues to invite inquiry. It is obvious Gizelle is looking to sink her teeth into any story line at this moment; she is even resuming her ribbing at the forever-pending nuptials of Robyn and Juan, which seem to be a mystery to everyone, including one of her best friends. When her hands are this idle, nothing good can come of it.
Next week, Mia confronts Karen during her live show for sharing her romantic history with the Thomases unsolicited, and Ashley’s friend comes around the group, much to Candiace’s disgust.
Cherry Blossoms
• What in the Powerpuff Girls hell is going on with Candiace’s confessional look? I’m all for her channeling her inner Barb and getting a nice pink wig, but the hot pink doesn’t work with it at all.
• Wendy revealed that her kidney stone required two operations and was nine centimeters long. I genuinely don’t know how she was going about her day-to-day for so long with that kind of calcification happening in her system; she had to be living off of Tylenol for months.
• I don’t know who in production is convinced that we are invested in the ins and outs of Robyn and Juan’s situation, but we need way fewer scenes dedicated to this prenup. The question is fairly simple: Will they sign it or not? Both of them seem to be talking around Juan’s issues with infidelity even though that is clearly a sticking point for Robyn; if we are not going to get more depth about the actual cracks in their union that keep them from moving forward, then I would just like the camera focused somewhere else.
• A similar note applies to Ashley: The house drama is tired, especially since I believe she still lives in the Alexandra penthouse, so we know the foregone conclusion of all of this house hunting.
• Charrisse showed up to the podcast taping in one of Candiace’s signature napkins. True brand synergy.