And now the story of a wealthy family who’s weird about everything, and one son who dumped a bear cub in Central Park. This is a new Kennedy Development.
Yes, you read that right. In a New Yorker profile of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. published August 5, it’s reported that, in 2014, the current presidential candidate left a dead bear cub in Central Park. His wife, Cheryl Hines, meanwhile, is probably used to insane behavior after being married to Larry David on a sitcom for a few years. And just like in a sitcom, Kennedy’s ridiculous actions have come back around in the best punch line possible. Apparently, after finding the dead bear by the side of a road, RFK Jr. put it in his car, took some cute pics with it, showed it to some friends, and then decided it would be especially funny if he made it look like the cub had been hit by an “errant cyclist†in Central Park. He then brought it into the park on a bike and left it. In an especially sitcom-y twist, JFK’s granddaughter, Tatiana Schlossberg, wrote a follow-up piece about the incident in the New York Times. “But so many questions remain unanswered,†Schlossberg wrote. “How did the bear end up in Central Park? Was there foul play involved? Did she die in the park, or was she dumped there?â€
RFK Jr., well aware that the story was about to be told in The New Yorker, decided on August 4 to get ahead of the story by posting a video of him telling the story to, wouldn’t you know it, sitcom icon (and controversy magnet) Roseanne Barr. He tells the story like a lighthearted romp, but the facts are nigh exactly the same as what The New Yorker published the next day. “Maybe that’s where I got my brain worm,†he told The New Yorker. We’d … believe it?
In the video, Kennedy tells the story of how he found the bear while driving to go falconing (normal). “I was going to skin the bear — and it was in very good condition — and I was going to put the meat in my refrigerator,†he begins. “I had to go to the airport, and the bear was in my car, and I didn’t want to leave the bear in my car because that would have been bad.†His solution? Put it in Central Park. “We thought it would be amusing for whoever found it or something,†he explains. At no point in anyone’s version of this story does RFK Jr. make any choice that GOB from Arrested Development would not also make. Hines, a vet of the Groundlings, Suburgatory, and Curb Your Enthusiasm, probably does feel right at home.