Typically, I don’t care too much about the decisions this show makes. It’s largely a drag show masquerading as a competition, especially All Stars, especially this season. But sometimes, they make a choice so nonsensical that it forces the air out of the conversation about the overall quality of the performances and refocuses me on the decision-making. Every choice made this week is like that.
Look: I’m happy for the queens who were successful this week, including our new winner, but I can’t say the show did them any favors by refusing to criticize anybody else and thus making the winners of the week feel chosen at random, before awarding the crown to a queen who has done medium-well throughout the entire season. How’d we get here? I’m as confused as you are.
Let’s try to figure it out together, shall we? The episode begins with VP Kamala Harris, joined by Michelle Visage, Jamal Sims, Lance Bass, Leslie Jones, and Cheyenne Jackson, telling us to vote. Rewatching this, it struck me that Angeria would probably be the best queen in this group to bring out on a campaign tour, if that’s what you look for in your queens. Nina is even more family-friendly but also looks bad about half the time, so that’s not an option. Nobody else comes close to Angeria’s natural public-speaking abilities — it’s her biggest strength as a queen. Maybe that’s why she won, despite no challenges that have anything to do with that this week.
Then we get Kylie Sonique Love saying hi to the girls because Jimbo couldn’t be there in person. This was fun because she’s a peer to all of these girls, so you have Shannel talking about how much she loves Kylie and it mostly feels like what it is: a really supportive friend bragging about her talented peer. Jimbo makes a video appearance that is nice enough.
There’s a lot of crying in this episode by the queens, and they’re all extremely nostalgic over the time they’ve spent filming this season together. Watching this feels a little like attending the graduation of somebody you don’t know that well: You understand conceptually why the people around you are emotional, but you aren’t in on it with them at all. I felt none of the rose-colored graduation goggles that the queens were looking back on their time in the competition with.
I’m just gonna get to the performances because that’s what we all came here for. Angeria is first. I do not think this is particularly interesting. She does a park- and bark-themed number. It is just fine. “Ug-aly bitch†was a winning phrase back in season 14, but by the end of her All Stars season, I’m not convinced it’s as funny as the judges are. What, exactly, makes this a winning number? Is it that it’s a feat of branding? Maybe so. Turning “Park and bark†into a marketable phrase is exactly the kind of thing that Ru loves. Still, if I turned up to a show and saw her doing this, I’d smile and clap. But I would not walk away talking about her. Rewarding this is, honestly, confusing.
The next queen up is Gottmik. This is not really Mik’s challenge — she’s never been a live performer in the way that the other girls are — but she opts to perform a rock number with some live guitar playing. Would I pay to see this at a show? Sure! The guitar playing really does add some value.
Jorgeous follows. If I’m choosing a winner, Jorgeous would be one of my picks. I wish she had sung her own track, but that’s my only critique. She is a fabulous performer. Watching her get flung around the stage is legitimately exciting, and that final move is one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen on this show. At a certain point it’s kind of like: What was Jorgeous supposed to do?
Then another of the performances that is better than either of the winners comes onstage: Plastique. It’s great! Fierce, funny, well-performed. She’ll always need to keep working on her face, but this is a well-paced, interesting, and original number. Loved the marshmallow.
Nina West does a number that, to me, seemed inspired by the 2013 Tony Awards opening number. Otherwise, it did not spark much interest. This is not her challenge, I suppose, but it’s become clear over the season that Nina’s drag doesn’t inspire much excitement. She’ll have a career forever, but it’s just so safe.
Roxxxy does a burlesque number that is not as good as the previous burlesque number she did in an All Stars talent show. It is still good!
I would make Shannel one of the winners. She is the only person who doesn’t do a lip-sync number, and her over-the-top Vegas-showgirl nature is fun and fab. Plus, juggling is a real, actual talent! It’s great. I love when she puts a cube on her chin just because she can. How great! Give Shannel her props!
Finally, Vanjie closes the show with a number that is altogether fine. Maybe it’s just that I’ve seen Plane do a similar number on the season-16 finale so recently (which shouldn’t be held against Vanjie), but I was not as charmed by this as I wanted to be. I was not considering her in contention for the win.
Onto the runway! Angeria’s outfit is incredible. No notes. So is Gottmik’s. Jorgeous does a Selena-inspired look that isn’t as grand as some of the others but shows off her drag POV well. Plastique’s, no shocker, is ginormous and inspired by Vietnamese culture. Gorg! Nina looks good, and that’s a win in itself. Roxxxy is stunning in a gold gown that’s glamour to the max. Shannel has my favorite runway by a wide margin. The hair! The dress! The DOG! This is drag. Vanjie’s outfit is lovely, but I’m not sure that the coat and the outfit match?
Vanjie and Angeria end up winning the challenge. Not sure why! That puts them in the final three with Roxxxy and notably not Nina, who wins the badge-multiplier thing from last week but still doesn’t have enough to make it into the final three. If you’re keeping track, that means that absolutely nothing from last week mattered. If I was Plastique, I’d be pissed.
The final three lip sync separately to “Rhythm Nation,†by Janet Jackson. It’s a good pick for all three of the girls, but from what we see in the very edited version, Roxxxy does the best, as she tends to do. But Angeria wins the season! I disagree with this choice. Nobody really took hold of this season and clearly dominated it, but Roxxxy did the best. Period. Angeria is a wonderful queen, but she’s also a limited queen who never figured out how to play more than one character, and she never blew me away. Maybe if the judges could have told us why she was better than other queens, as opposed to just complimenting everyone, I’d understand what she brings. At the end of the season, I remain confused.